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yodelling a song of one's self

April 3, 2017 at 9:20pm

I tell you, life is like a complex chemical reaction. Think of baking a cake. The closer we get to the process, the more complex its seems, until it finally seems like a thermodynamic miracle ala Dr Manhattan.

There may be a time when one needs self-examination, even self-exploration. It is a possibility. David Milch had a line in NYPD Blue about being a good fish guy, "you keep a healthy tank." Healthy fish live in a healthy tank. No way around that, people. In keeping a healthy tank, you keep adjusting, adding and tossing away certain ingredients, using whatever is necessary to go forward with spirit.

Blinded and confused, wandering from behind the JC Penney's, one may need to adjust his or her priorities going forward. How do you then measure success? Money? Adulation? Are you happy in your daily life? Do you define yourself by your work?

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the most difficult thing: throwing down the gauntlet before one's own self.

February 22, 2017 at 11:22pm

You do not compete with Donald Trump or George Clooney. You compete with you, and your image of yourself. What are you, then? What then do you want to be?

A challenge is afoot, it would seem, if you answer the questions in the assigned order.

Five years ago, I was on self-imposed exile, much like a prisoner, feeling like a prisoner of the world, pidgeon-holed, not realizing my own freedom, but feeling the burden of the outside world. But since, I have come to generate my own gravitational field within my personality, thanks in part to a prescribed drug cocktail, and also the healing effects of time.

I have built my personality. I have discovered new skills and interests. In 2013, I read 342 books. I have written books. I have written screenplays. There are yet other provinces to conquer, tho-yet more skills to develop and nourish like the youngling blossom.

My question: are we accomplishing something, or are we just jacking-around here? Lol.

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Making asses of you and me: assassinations.

January 9, 2017 at 9:55pm

Old Yeller was Goldwater-approved propaganda about JFK. "We loved him, but we had to put one in his CPU."

Or to paraphrase: "Kill the head and the body will die." Or more apt yet: "The only way to kill a snake is to chop off its head."

Lions, and tigers, and bears. Oh my.

Distasteful, I call it and I prefer yet Civil Disobedience rather than looting and pillaging commercial properties. But this is a capitalist society, so I suppose legislative rage and angry citizens could focus on innocent storefronts.

Assassination is distasteful. Unpaletteable. Luckily we have frequent elections, though it means we have about a fifty percent chance each time of being disappointed with the results.

Civil Disobedience is the province of principled people.
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It ain't all Shakespeare

December 19, 2016 at 9:24pm

It really ain't.


Half-truths and poor grammar are the sauce of expression, that the lower classes(like myself) have learned to express themselves in more complicated utterances than grunts.

List, list, list!

I poured a dream into the ear of a dying man. His blood pooled where he lay. When they raised him up from his deathplace, he was frozen stiff, but not in rigor mortis, but stern rigid obstinance.

My heart burns there, too. But would I say? For to say aloud is to tempt the forces of the natural, to put your own wants into the ether, where they will be acted upon immediately, but the question, does that hasten destruction? Does that alter the beauty of that distant star?

Have I lost my mind entirely?

Mere esoterica.

It is 2016 and there is time for being esoteric.

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the truth was what you wanted? really?

December 3, 2016 at 11:36pm

For years, and under some strain of an unspecified type, my friend said things about 9/11.

And what could I say in response?

Did he want the truth? Or did he want something to believe? I prefer the latter. But I could have said things. I didn't. I mean, why?


"My own open nudity gives me wood." It's glorious and infantile, to stand naked, raise your arms in the air in PURE GLEE!!!!

See how I changed the subject? Did he ever get the truth? No. He gave up. Oddly enough, he stopped talking about it when I felt like telling what I knew about it(which isn't much, anyhow). But really.

He thought George Bush did it. He had no evidence. Just a mistrust of the government. Couldn't believe that big heavy building found the shortest path down, gravity-wise.

The shortest path down. Thought the big heavy building should have some kind of nudge to the side which would make it topple and then lay down, as if to sleep.

But people had questions. They seemed to just create their own answers, too.

I was once given a creepy cryptic 9/11 reference by a Wallsmark employee. I thought that guy needed to die for that. I copied it for a story I was writing, and applied it to a lawnmower instead of a man. I thought the reference was rather obvious.

But I'm crazy.
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Jun 21, 2003 at 3:26am


Rural South Carolina


talking crap to Alex, listening to Alex's mess

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eater of worlds, flattener of stars, writers of blogs and books and letters and such other nonsense



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