I can't get over my psycopath ex
I met this man on a chat site two years ago.
Married with two children to a man who has narcissistic personality disorder and suffered years of abuse, I stayed with him as I was unable to support myself and my children. He has gradually got worse over the years and two years ago I found out he was having an affair and his girlfriend had posted their relationship online and my children had seen it and were devestated. After I confronted him, he got even more [sign in to see URL] for escapism I joined this chat site. Thus is where I met the psycopath. He was a married man also with children of the same sort of ages as my children. He became a friend and not long after we exchanged numbers and began whatsapping daily
Even though I did not find him physically attractive, I soon found myself liking him a lot. He began asking a lot of questions about me, my life [sign in to see URL] a distinct interest. He was very flattering towards me, and very quickly told me that he loved me! I questioned this know in that his reaction towards me wasn't normal, but I was feeling very happy, it was exciting, he began sending photos of his children, house, work, wife, parents, car, days out, shopping and just about everything you could imagine. ....this made me feel very close to him, and my feelings began to grow till I realised I had fallen for him in a big way! Eventually we met and started up a relationship. He became very jealous, verbally abusive, following me on social media, demanding i deleted the chat site we were [sign in to see URL] who I was textin on whatsapp etc [sign in to see URL] found myself making excuses for him, putting up with the way he spoke to me, I would ask him to apologise, he reluctantly would but would soon do it [sign in to see URL] into irrational rages, fits of anger, inappropriate swearing for the most trivial matters etc etc....
Then one day from telling me that he loved me, wanting me to be in his life forever to telling me he wants to end our relationship. .....I have never felt hurt like it! I cred for months on end, couldn't function despite for answers. He went from texting throughout the day every day to texting once or twice a day, but still [sign in to see URL] turned to every few days, then weekly and got less and less over the months. He would watch me on whatsapp (or so I thought) I felt like I was still connected to him that way, even when he wasn't actually texting. ....this went on for 15 months after he had finished it with [sign in to see URL] the last few weeks, I have noticed that he is constantly [sign in to see URL] all hrs if the morning, and throughout his working day, in his breaks at work [sign in to see URL] like he was with me! I told him that I knew, I of course denied [sign in to see URL] told him I was deleting him from my phone and I [sign in to see URL] texted after that to show me that he still could. U didnt reply, but I just can't get him out of my head, my heart physically aches, I miss him so very [sign in to see URL] know I shouldn't, and that it was all lies, but I know he's telling his new woman all the lies he told me and it hurts so much! I just can't get it into my head that the way he said he felt about me was all lies, even tho I know in my heart that it [sign in to see URL] would ask me constantly what made me fall for him, I used to tell him, list everything and now I know it was so he could learn from it and use it to make others fall for him too. I feel so sad, my world has fallen apart :(
I want him to contact me, even though I know that it's best this [sign in to see URL] still looks at my profile daily on the chat site but that's it!
Can anyone answer my questions please.......
Did he ever care? Does he love his children? Will he be verbally abusive to his other women like he was to me? (I noticed he was horrible to me after I told him how much I cared, after I'd fallen for him)
This is all so painful and totally consuming :(