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lettuceout

20 weeks

Nov 4, 2012 at 3:29am

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sunshine

August 31, 2009 at 5:12am

I AM NOT FUCKING HAPPY ANYMORE. YOU GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

it's just another fork in the road. but it feels more like a knife. if i were more eloquent, if i were more pristine; maybe i could still be going places. but going places is only getting harder, and harder. i am tired. physically and mentally. and fuck this. fuck all of this. fuck you, and fuck your mothers, and fuck this blog. fuck nebraska. fuck seeing your breath in the fucking wind. your house, your cat, your fancy fucking digital cable. fuck being vague. fuck accepting faults. fuck me. but mostly fuck you.

i won't always be like this. because it is not that bad.

i have a case of the vainglories.

or maybe the swine.

fucking wake me up.

fuck.

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stickam

August 28, 2009 at 11:38pm

homeguy: hey
sassycasserole: hi
homeguy: wanna have fun ?
sassycasserole: not for real
homeguy: virtual :)
sassycasserole: not for virtual
homeguy: :)
homeguy: ure funny :)
sassycasserole: i know

so, besides idiots on the internet i have been dull. i say that so i do not have to think about what HASN'T been dull.

so stressed.

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every single one of us fed the ground

March 24, 2008 at 5:13am

don't have much time update anymore. work and work and work and sleepwalk.

i continue to dwell on the past. it's getting to me. all i can think of is how much i HATE it, really. but to hate is to love, i can't deny that. and that worries me because surely i'd have fallen out of love and into a kind of nothingness, but it's only progressed into this unnecessary resentment and anger.

sometimes i wish things would have worked out differently.

brian moved to nebraska. nebraska. the hell?

i haven't had a relationship since j. not really. i've been used a lot. hell, i've used others. sex is cheap, you know. it's just a lay. a lonely lay. lay lie low lovers livers loving.

e-eye moved to montgomery, only an hour away. better than fucking NEBRASKA, brian. though i still rarely see her. she spent the week with me for my birthday last week which was lovely. we'll be moving in together within the next 6 months. so woo.

i'm not even going to go into the situation with this silly girl named shea. we've been friends on and off for quite a few years, but she's kind of unstable. okay, the girl is REALLY unstable. just know, terra, when you come back to this little online thought processor, that she's a crazy bitch. and your best bet, terra, is to refrain from chilling with this crazy bitch for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. don't get pulled into the drama she creates. alright? alright.

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let it all drop

January 12, 2008 at 5:03am

drunk. so i'm trying to get his job at pita pit, right? i don't think chel lady wants to hire me though. tough luck for me though, right.

i'm still into b. though, i'm seeing rodney now. sort of. maybe. i guess. haven't seen him/heard from him in a few days. at first i thought it might be something serious. now, however, i may have just been used as a replacement to his fallen grace. it was nice for the 4 days it lasted, i must say. and you never know, i may just be over thinking everything like a usually do and he'll show up on my door step tomorrow morning. doubt it (pesimistic).

AZ in may. sweet. the road trip i always (dreaded) dreamed of. i'll finally meet johnny. i'll see bethanyrose again after 6 years. see b. meet some new friends and all. possibly we'll make it to CA, too, to see ken!

i can't wait! (:

right right right?

i thought maybe i was coming out of the hole i had so graciously fallen into, but it seems, i'm afraid, i may just be digging this hole a few feet deeper. i must sound depressed. i must sound in despair.

i am really just fond of sad words.

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the future you have tomorrow won't be the same future you had yesterday

December 21, 2007 at 3:58pm

once again, i am no longer on speaking terms with joe. however, that's because he's dating this young girl i used to be friends with ever so long ago. and he was sleeping around with me not even a day before they put a "label" on that relationship. so, fuck that.

e-eye moved to montgomery. that's rather depressing.

me and mccartney reconciled our differences so i am not entirely without friends. she's got something crazy in her head, but then i've always known that. i can deal with it better now that i'm older and not just get pissed everytime she has a freak-out episode. we all have problems.

now i should vent about e and how he's 15 years older than i am. he's been a fucking creep that last couple weeks and i'm sick of him. everytime we have a drink he gets so touchy-feely. when we're in the car he won't pay attention to the road because he's too busy looking at me and trying to kiss me and rub his hands on me and it's fucking pathetic, not to mention annoying as hell. now yesterday he did a favor for mccartney, and he did the same fucking thing to her. all, "i love you baby"'s and "i have some lingerie i want to try on for me"'s.

so i'm done with e. he needs to go find a lady his own age and stopping hitting on girls who can't even buy their own booze yet. god.

early tomorrow morning my family and i are driving up to michigan. last time we did this it ended up being a 20 hour drive. obviously, i am so excited to do this again. it'll give me plenty of time to recooperate after the fiasco this week was.

merry christmas everyone!

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Nov 19, 2006 at 7:23pm

Location

Auburn, AL

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well functioning pens, sleepy time, dinner time, the color yellow, making something from nothing, funny goons, being barefoot, dark chocolate, family, coffee, dirt, whiskey, late nights, and early mornings.

 

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