lettuceout
20 weeks
Nov 4, 2012 at 3:29am
Last blog entries
sunshine
I AM NOT FUCKING HAPPY ANYMORE. YOU GET THE FUCK OVER IT.
it's just another fork in the road. but it feels more like a knife. if i were more eloquent, if i were more pristine; maybe i could still be going places. but going places is only getting harder, and harder. i am tired. physically and mentally. and fuck this. fuck all of this. fuck you, and fuck your mothers, and fuck this blog. fuck nebraska. fuck seeing your breath in the fucking wind. your house, your cat, your fancy fucking digital cable. fuck being vague. fuck accepting faults. fuck me. but mostly fuck you.
i won't always be like this. because it is not that bad.
i have a case of the vainglories.
or maybe the swine.
fucking wake me up.
fuck.
it's just another fork in the road. but it feels more like a knife. if i were more eloquent, if i were more pristine; maybe i could still be going places. but going places is only getting harder, and harder. i am tired. physically and mentally. and fuck this. fuck all of this. fuck you, and fuck your mothers, and fuck this blog. fuck nebraska. fuck seeing your breath in the fucking wind. your house, your cat, your fancy fucking digital cable. fuck being vague. fuck accepting faults. fuck me. but mostly fuck you.
i won't always be like this. because it is not that bad.
i have a case of the vainglories.
or maybe the swine.
fucking wake me up.
fuck.
stickam
homeguy: hey
sassycasserole: hi
homeguy: wanna have fun ?
sassycasserole: not for real
homeguy: virtual :)
sassycasserole: not for virtual
homeguy: :)
homeguy: ure funny :)
sassycasserole: i know
so, besides idiots on the internet i have been dull. i say that so i do not have to think about what HASN'T been dull.
so stressed.
sassycasserole: hi
homeguy: wanna have fun ?
sassycasserole: not for real
homeguy: virtual :)
sassycasserole: not for virtual
homeguy: :)
homeguy: ure funny :)
sassycasserole: i know
so, besides idiots on the internet i have been dull. i say that so i do not have to think about what HASN'T been dull.
so stressed.
Comments loading...
you want yellowtail? yeah, i could go for some yellowtail
last night i believe i finally got closure on all the bull that joe and i went through. and it feels really good.
i also lost that unnatural attachment i had to stay. i'm very apathetic towards it, actually. i really just don't care about anything she's doing or saying or leaving or eating enough or anything. i just don't. all the feeling i had is gone and i'm never going to let it come back.
anyways, c ruined anything he could have had with e-eye by calling me speaking of love and old memories that will never repeat themselves. and i never told her about what he said because i wanted them to be something. i wanted her to be happy. anyways; he hasn't called her since he made that phonecall to me. though he called the house a few times when i was out of town. i have no desire to hear his voice.
i took new pictures! look! it is fall!
i also lost that unnatural attachment i had to stay. i'm very apathetic towards it, actually. i really just don't care about anything she's doing or saying or leaving or eating enough or anything. i just don't. all the feeling i had is gone and i'm never going to let it come back.
anyways, c ruined anything he could have had with e-eye by calling me speaking of love and old memories that will never repeat themselves. and i never told her about what he said because i wanted them to be something. i wanted her to be happy. anyways; he hasn't called her since he made that phonecall to me. though he called the house a few times when i was out of town. i have no desire to hear his voice.
i took new pictures! look! it is fall!
Comments loading...
not fond of poets
you're okay, we drive this route everyday
my absent brother often writes to me
he tells me i am marvelous when we
seek out wisdom
yet we leave with only more pronounced blindness
my dreamy
my vague
my brother, he tells me he loves me so
that nonexistent lover i am desparate to have
take no thought in the morrow
my fancied brother has no place
in this unnatural romance
my absent brother often writes to me
he tells me i am marvelous when we
seek out wisdom
yet we leave with only more pronounced blindness
my dreamy
my vague
my brother, he tells me he loves me so
that nonexistent lover i am desparate to have
take no thought in the morrow
my fancied brother has no place
in this unnatural romance
Comments loading...
internet perverts flock to me, do they to you?
i guess i'd rather complain to the internet and many faceless people than to someone who could actually help me.
e-eye is sleeping with chanc. i think i'm okay with it. the more i think about it, i am fine with it. she seems to like him a whole lot. maybe i am just worried for her? maybe i don't want her to end up feeling the way i now feel about him now. annoyance, hate, betrayal. i think this is good for him because he stuck to me for so long and for so long i didn't want it.
e-eye also just got my old job.
i have gained 20 pounds. i have lost e-eye to a man who does not deserve her in my eyes. i can't have a drink or two or ten because of the meds i am taking. i am so lonely and i have fucked up my life so bad i don't know how to turn it around. i still have to clean this filthy house and somehow i've got to get arizona to be with brian by march.
i am so overwhelmed by complete bullshit and i can't even talk to anyone about it for the only friend i have is e-eye.
i want to move on in my life, my mind is just stuck in the past when i was happier. stay was around, joe was not such a dick to me, germs and i would make up lies and see how long we could keep the going (i was born in moscow, BTW). the woods were exciting and taking drugs were fun.
i'm so bored.
e-eye is sleeping with chanc. i think i'm okay with it. the more i think about it, i am fine with it. she seems to like him a whole lot. maybe i am just worried for her? maybe i don't want her to end up feeling the way i now feel about him now. annoyance, hate, betrayal. i think this is good for him because he stuck to me for so long and for so long i didn't want it.
e-eye also just got my old job.
i have gained 20 pounds. i have lost e-eye to a man who does not deserve her in my eyes. i can't have a drink or two or ten because of the meds i am taking. i am so lonely and i have fucked up my life so bad i don't know how to turn it around. i still have to clean this filthy house and somehow i've got to get arizona to be with brian by march.
i am so overwhelmed by complete bullshit and i can't even talk to anyone about it for the only friend i have is e-eye.
i want to move on in my life, my mind is just stuck in the past when i was happier. stay was around, joe was not such a dick to me, germs and i would make up lies and see how long we could keep the going (i was born in moscow, BTW). the woods were exciting and taking drugs were fun.
i'm so bored.
Comments loading...
Miscellaneous info
User since
Nov 19, 2006 at 7:23pm
Location
Auburn, AL
Interests
well functioning pens, sleepy time, dinner time, the color yellow, making something from nothing, funny goons, being barefoot, dark chocolate, family, coffee, dirt, whiskey, late nights, and early mornings.
Last posts
Friends
Friend list loading...
Comments loading...