The All New Crispy Pretzel Chicken Fries, Only At Burger King
When you lay awake at night awaiting the warm embrace of sleep, do you feel the weight of your meaningless existence press down upon you? Do you ever cry out in despair at your utter failure to develop a sense of identity? Do you worry that nobody will ever love you or truly understand you, or that those who claim to only know you on the surface? Do you fear that all your knowledge about the world is superficial and will never amount to anything that the other 7.6 billion people on this planet haven't already figured out?
If so, then you sound like one fartsack of a loser.
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There have been minimal casualties so far. But now, the 3rd week, is what will separate the boys from the men. I don't care where you are, or what you're doing when the urges hit: they're going to hit HARD. And you can't wait until that moment happens to respond or you're going to fall like the rest of them after it gets worse. You have to identify your problem areas, and make WAR on them now.
Throw any lotion in the house away and take it to the garbage can. Take the bar of soap out of the shower and toss it. Plan your day to minimize alone time, maximize productivity, and spend time at the gym. Tell yourself how you will respond to a dozen different scenarios so that they won't catch you with your pants down, literally.
This war is only just beginning, but you are not alone. Stand strong and fight like hell for your brothers and sisters beside you and your own future.
Don't @ me
Don't ask, the real ones know what's up.
I regret interrupting whatever important work you must surely be in the middle of, but there is a far more pressing matter at hand. It has come to my attention that because of our wanton carelessness with a critically dangerous compound, we are all in mortal danger.
This substance causes over 320,000 deaths per year, is the leading ingredient in pesticides, and was consumed by every known violent criminal in the days leading up to their crimes. In fact, this chemical is so lethal that 100% of those who consume it will die.
Because of our complete and utter neglect as a society, we have allowed ourselves to become complicit to the prevalence of this horrificly dangerous compound. We leave it laying around our dining places, we allow it into our homes through holes in our sinks, and we even stand by while our children consume it. Perhaps the only preventative measure we've taken is to construct our homes to divert most of it, but ambient vapor of this chemical still makes its way into our living spaces and even into our lungs.
So please, BE CAREFUL. Dihydrogen monoxide is incredibly dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.
Chillin In Chem Wit My Homies
Ayooo, we livin it up in here. Talkin bout the absorbace of red light through a gatorade dye solution like nobody's business. Man, I tell ya, nothing gets me going like identifying possible sources of error in our interpretation of Beer's law. Yeah, that's right, we don't need beer because we have Beer's law. Oh yeah!
And you better not mess with us, cuz we finna plan the hell out of our calorimetry lab. Bouta estimate the heat lost to the calorimeter like it's 1879. Yeah, that's right. I hope you're intimidated, cuz we're frakin VIBINg rn. WOOT WOOOT