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Dearth
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Telly - "Root Into Europe"


One of my favourites this.

Starring George Cole and shown on ITV in 1992, it's all about Henry Root, self-made millionaire (seller of 'Wet Fish') who decides to mooch around Europe doing a report for the BBC and the P.M. (self-appointed).

This was about Britain joining Europe in 1992 (yes... even back then we were supposed to be becoming 'Europeans')

Very funny - done pseudo-documentary style, it portrayed a very opinionated chap and his stereotypes accompanied by his long suffering wife Muriel (mainly referred to as Mrs. Root).

Here's a pic. of him keeping the intellectuals 'busy' in France...

Image

Great stuff - and yours truly loved it so much he got the book too.

Here's an excerpt.

Mrs Root seems to be a little shaken. 'I didn’t like the look of that, Henry.'

I hasten to reassure her. ‘No reason to be alarmed, Mrs Root. A leisure-intent German will from time to time don short trousers and do a dance, slapping his partner with a sausage. Leather is worn and large quantities of beer are drunk from tankards the size of buckets. We’ll look in later - after a nice cup of tea. We’ll need to be fortified, do you see? Unfortified, a German having fun bears down somewhat heavily.’

We find a tearoom — enter and take our seats, order hot chocolate and gdteau. We are surrounded by smartly dressed, well-behaved old ladies. Mrs Root seems not to have recovered yet from her glimpse inside the Bierkeller.

‘I didn’t like the look of it at all, Henry. All those fat men in shorts. I thought they looked ever so silly.’

‘The German by tradition,’ I explain, ‘has always had a somewhat open attitude as to the body beautiful. Nude dancing in the Greek mode is a favourite pastime, drilling firm young men in army shorts another. It’s the dark underside of German culture, Mrs Root. Their need to let off steam sometimes manifests itself in practices as yet unseen in Esher.’ I pause, realise that I might be overheard. ‘I’ll not go into detail, Mrs Root.’

 I’d forgotten for the moment that English, quite rightly, is most educated Germans’ second language. I now notice that the little old ladies are craning in our direction, hanging on to my every word. ‘I’ll say this much, though. Leather plays a part.’

‘Leather, Henry?’

‘Precisely, Mrs Root. A German’s relationship with leather is absolutely of the essence. It has been calculated that ninety-five per cent of German men wear leather body stockings under their working clothes. Your German’s preferred way of letting off steam after personally turning out thirty-five Mercedes saloon cars in a day is as follows: after work he’ll shower at home and change his body stocking. Alternatively, he’ll lie on a hot slab in a bathhouse and have his backside twigged. We’ll look into that later. Then he’s ready to put on shorts and do the sausage dance in company. Several buckets of lager later, he’ll spew up, exit with his pals and form a priapic pyramid in the street. Nothing wrong with that.’

‘it all sounds enormous fun?’ says Mrs Root
.
‘I don’t know about that, Mrs Root. Body contact and collectivism, that’s his game. He likes to be told. In this respect he’s like a child.’

‘I thought it was the Italians who were like children, Henry.’

‘I’d thank you not to mention Italians, Mrs Root. Your German is a well-behaved child - there’s all the difference. If you’ve had a sufficiency of gateau, we’ll return to the hotel.’


emoticon

The t.v. series is excellent - but alas, not yet available on DVD - and I've no idea if there's any intention if it getting a release... luckily I have it on vid. and have transferred it onto DVD should the tape end up getting knackered... but here's hoping for a DVD release with extras - you never know.

emoticon

N.

N.



Last edited by Dearth, 2/Jun/2008, 4:52


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Lynette3
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Sounds good and it rings a faint bell...

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2/Jun/2008, 9:41 Send PM to Lynette3
 
Dearth
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Well what a cr*p bell - what's the point in having a 'faint' one - how will we know if the nazis invade, or if there's a wedding on?

emoticon

N.

P.S. I ordered a book off Amazon yesterday that I think's a cracker but haven't seen for yonks - "Henry Root's World Of Knowledge" - a 'spoof' encyclopaedia - less than £3 including post!

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Lynette3
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I agree on the faint bell, maybe my ears need syringing? LOL

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3/Jun/2008, 12:16 Send PM to Lynette3
 
Dearth
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Careful... they don't do that as often now - risky business!

Get some 'Otex' instead!

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N.

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3/Jun/2008, 19:49 Send PM to Dearth MSN
 
Lynette3
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Eh?

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4/Jun/2008, 11:54 Send PM to Lynette3
 
Dearth
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emoticon I ain't falling for that one!

emoticon

N.

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Lynette3
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Telly - "Root Into Europe"


That ad for Otex is horrible! It should carry a government health warning "Otex will clear your ear-wax, but you will be psychologically scarred for life after watching this ad" !

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5/Jun/2008, 9:50 Send PM to Lynette3
 
Dearth
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Telly - "Root Into Europe"


emoticon Better than all these ads where they're 'sluggish' or 'bloated' - I mean... what's all this 'pussyfooting' around the issue of constipation? We've all been bunged up!

A more accurate and honest depiction would be thus:

Jane: Marjory... you don't seem too chipper today - what's wrong?

Marjory: I've not had a sh*te for four days now... me guts are rock hard.

Jane: Oh you want to get some 'Stooleeze' that'll make you cack.

Marjory: Not too harsh is it?

Jane: Not at all - you'll get rid of a good smooth one that won't hurt... better than some of the other stuff out there - some of that, and you sh*t through the eye of a needle.

And so on.

emoticon

N.

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5/Jun/2008, 23:04 Send PM to Dearth MSN
 
Lynette3
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Telly - "Root Into Europe"


LOL - so true!

---
All you need is love ~ The Beatles

All you need is cash ~ The Rutles
6/Jun/2008, 9:38 Send PM to Lynette3
 


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