Bibliophile
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Drunk, Rampaging Cow Woman Terroizes Middletown
I don't know how in the hell we missed this one. It's priceless.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/09302008/news/nationalnews/udder_madness_131449.htm
EDIT: Ran out of time and didn't get to elaborate.
Meet Michelle Allen.
This charming lass ran amok, drunken and clad in a cow suit, in outskirts of Middletown, blocking traffic, pissing in yards and chasing wee children through the night.
Why was she in a cow suit?
She was part of a "haunted trail" attraction at Halloween.
Why was there a bovine featured in this haunted trail? Even the police are baffled.
quote:
"It's curious. When I think of Halloween or a haunted trail, I don't think of cows as being scary - although this one was," Hoffman said.
She had to remain in the suit while she was in jail awaiting her court appearance because, as the officers tactfully noted:
quote:
"It appeared that's all she had on," Hoffman said.
Appeared, says he. I imagine they did not inquire too closely.
The kicker to this magical tale of Halloween mayhem? Ms. Allen was already wanted for failure to appear on a solicitation charge. I imagine the costume was a real turn-on for her clients. I can just hear her sultry whisper: "Milk me, baby. Milk me hard!"
So, when you're having your morning glass of moo-juice, raise a toast to the Ms. Allens of the world, who allow our police officers to go home laughing at the end of the evening, saying, "Honey, you got to hear this one...." Would that all criminals were so entertaining and inept.
Last edited by Bibliophile, 1/4/2009, 0:35
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1/3/2009, 11:16
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