Kev2012
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The Easy Way Out
Claire took another step towards the edge of the cliff, the bitter wind swept about her, the cold rain pelted her face, but she only felt numb, no pain, no physical discomfort, her scars were all emotional. And they won't heal, or so she thought. She peered over the edge, jagged rocks were being caressed by the waves, a white foam being left behind as the water retreated, before it returned again in an instant with what seemed liked renewed vigour and an added anger. 100ft below the sea mocked her, hypnotised her, tempted her. It was her escape, a way out of this hell she was living. The dark blue void would swallow her up, and remove her from this hurtful world.
In the space of three months she'd lost her mother to Cancer, her sister was now diagnosed with exactly the same strain of the disease. Amidst this her boyfriend, who had been her rock, had left her and was now with another woman, engaged. She had been fired from her job for her inept performance since her mother's death. It was a cutthroat industry in which she worked and there was no room for the weak. Each lone thing a tremendous weight for a person to bear, all combined it was just too much to take.
Behind Claire her car's lights beamed, lighting up the ground around her, it cast her in a ghostly silhouette. The CD player was still repeating the song she'd listened too over and over as she drove here. And on the front passengers seat was the letter she had written, not so much a suicide note, but a final goodbye to the world in which she lived, the letter was her escape, her real escape, it was all that pent up emotion that had been welling inside her, down in ink for the whole world to see.
Claire's mind drifted, it ran through the fall, like another mocking vision that was just egging her on, one more step, over the threshold and her old life of hell and hurt would be left behind. A few seconds of falling and the pain was over, in an instant. Claire edged forward, half an inch. The ground beneath her feet felt unsafe, bits of loose rock and dirt fell down, tumbling over and over towards the sea, which was waiting with baited breath to consume anything that fell.
Claire was a moment away from just letting herself go, but then a glimmer lit the sea directly below her. It was like several little fairies had just risen from the depths, the glimmers spread until the whole sea was alive with speckling white lights. Claire looked to the sky, the moon had penetrated the rain clouds, now the clouds were disbanding to reveal a plethora of stars, all sizes, shapes and heavily bright. She hadn't even felt the rain stop, or the wind calm to nothing more than a soothing breeze, now her senses were returning.
One star in particular lit the sky brighter than any of the others, and it appeared to be throbbing, getting brighter, then dimming ever so slightly, then brighter again. It was a process that was repeated over and over, it captivated Claire, but unlike the sea had, this wasn't mocking her, or egging her on, this was making her see clearly. She had been blinded by the easy way out, the coward's way of dealing with things, what would her mother think if she gave up?
Her mother, that person that had battled cancer for years with such dignity and grace. And now here was her daughter, her own flesh and blood, willing to just give her life away. So many people would give anything to live another second on this earth, and here was Claire simply giving up.
Suddenly and unexpected the ground beneath Claire's left foot gave way, she managed to stammer backwards, away from the edge. She stepped further back from the edge of the cliff, her heart thundering in her chest, and she returned to the car. She sat in the car, her song still playing, the letter still on the seat. Picking up the letter, a tear rolled down Claire's cheek as she read it. She sat still for several moments, contemplating, before leaving the car again. She got to the edge of the cliff, just like before, she closed her eyes and without thinking threw the letter over the edge. It floated slowly down, drifted from side to side like a delicate leaf falling from a tree, before resting amidst the glimmers in the sea, fading away, never to be seen again.
A smile broke across Claire's face, and a new vigour surged through her veins. She got back in the car, turned the CD player off and drove away from the cliff, victorious, ready to take on the battle of life with dignity and courage, just like her mother did.
Copyright Kevin Martin 2007
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May/8/2007, 1:26 pm
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