SearchingSkeptic
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My Predictions for 2007
My Predictions for 2007
-The government of Iran topples after it's discovered that Iranian President "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad" is in reality a character played by Sacha Baron Cohen.
-Caught between an overstretched military and widespread public resistance to the reinstatement of the draft, President George W. Bush "discovers" a clause in the Boy Scouts of America's membership oath requiring all Scouts to serve two years in the United States Army. The first Medal of Honor among the new conscripts is awarded to eleven-year-old Timmy Johnson of Waukegan, MI, who charges an al-Qaeda mortar nest on his ten-speed and takes two dozen prisoners.
-Useless celebs Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Hilary Duff, Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan join forces to form a girl group and re-record "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band". The angry spirits of John Lennon and George Harrison summon a zombie army that tears them to shreds on the streets of Hollywood. Bystanders applaud enthusiastically.
-A Gallup poll on the state of our nation's public education system finds that 85% of high schoolers are unable to name more than five past U.S. Presidents; 63% don't know the year World War II ended; and 35% think that "Uruguay" and "Paraguay" are names of embarrassing skin conditions.
-J.K. Rowling's seventh and last Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, is released to widespread acclaim. The tome weighs in at 1,700 pages and must be carried about via forklift to avoid potentially crippling back injuries. Meanwhile, satellite photos reveal that huge swaths of the Brazilian rain forest have vanished almost overnight, but the scientific community disagrees as to whether a connection exists between the two events.
-In a heartwarming display of bipartisanship, the U.S. House votes 435-0 to approve a resolution forbidding M. Night Shyamalan to ever make a movie again so long as he lives.
-The sun swells, consuming Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars in a fiery holocaust, then shrinks to a white dwarf. Conservative bloggers claim that Hillary Clinton is responsible.
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The Boeing 707 - the pack mule of the American skies! Sheeplike passengers, too stupid to appreciate technologies inherited from long-range bombers!
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12/28/2006, 5:32 pm
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Vioone
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 
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~ emily michelle ~
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
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12/29/2006, 10:27 am
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runnerkel
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
Ha. I think that may have just made my day.
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The following statement is true:
The above statement is false.
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12/29/2006, 11:47 am
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forgivenbygrace
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
hehe thats great
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12/29/2006, 8:50 pm
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Drumcheeka
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
Wonderful, Thomas.
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1/3/2007, 9:49 pm
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LadyGodiva74
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
rofl.
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If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? ~Stephen Levine
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1/9/2007, 7:08 pm
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addieadds
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
[= hehehehehe
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*~Addie~*
"Too much of a good thing is wonderful."--Mae West
"Music is the devine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart."--Pablo Caslas
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1/15/2007, 11:30 am
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BlazerBballchic10
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
lol you seriously must be like the greatest person ever. haha. that made my day.. lol <33
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*LeAnne*
-do you want me to sing to you?? i'll sing all night if it'll keep the bad dreams away.-
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1/17/2007, 8:01 pm
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Emmie15
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
OMGosh those were hysterical!!!!!! I died laughing while I read them!!!!!!!  LOL
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The Future Belongs To The People Who Believe In The Beauty Of Their Dreams!!!!!
I love UNC!!!!! Ninjas Rock!!!!!
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3/27/2007, 12:21 pm
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Perpetua
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Re: My Predictions for 2007
Bahah! I can't believe I didn't see this before, that's classic. 
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How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!
As tho' to breath were life.
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3/27/2007, 2:42 pm
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