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Kourtesan
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Door-to-door Christians

So on Monday, while I was on the phone with one of my authors/friends, some ladies took it upon themselves to walk up on my porch to tell me what I should believe. I told them I wouldn't buy detergent sold door-to-door, let alone spirituality.

Next day, those women came back. This time, they brought this big dude in a suit. I opened up the door and asked if he was the muscle. He goes, "I'm here because we believe you lack the knowledge of your own need."

I replied, "Need for what?"

"The wonderful Lord's guidance."

"You think he's wonderful?"

He gets this puffed up thing going on. "God is the definition of divine wonder."

I said, "As far as I know, he's also the first documented deadbeat dad."

Those women gasped and one looked ready to faint. The guy stood there opening and closing his mouth.

I shut the door in his face.

Who are these people? Did they think I would be too intimidated by a man to argue? I'd fold and beg for their literature?

It enrages me they feel free to stand on my porch and tell me what to believe. And, to come back twice?

When I asked if he was the muscle, they all exchanged this thing like, "Didn't we tell you she was possessed by Satan?"

I think I may put a little sign by my porch with a ratty notepad and inch long nub of a pencil attached. "If this is about religion, please just leave a message. I will respond to them in order of importance."

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4/2/2009, 5:23 am

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Queenyforever
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

I love your answers! emoticon

I despise those who bring they're children along. It's like you won't possibly tell the to take they're god and shove him if there are children about.
I used to have one of those big RED and WHITE plastic signs on my door (like a FOR SALE sign, but you can write what you want on it..) that said....
"No Soliciting
NO GOODIES OR GODS"

Then if they still knocked, I'd point to the sign and say I will NOT listen to some salesman, who can NOT read.

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4/2/2009, 8:11 am

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Morwen Oronor
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

My one would be "go to a therapist and get your sexual problems fixed there then lose Jesus!"

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The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.William Spencer Churchill

4/2/2009, 9:18 am

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Kourtesan
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

"No Soliciting
NO GOODIES OR GODS"

Then if they still knocked, I'd point to the sign and say I will NOT listen to some salesman, who can NOT read.

LOL!

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4/2/2009, 10:31 am

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Morwen Oronor
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

I told the story somewhere else about how I dealt with JWs bothering me one hot afternoon while my fighting family were trying to erect a camper tent, with everyone telling everyone else that they were doing it wrong.
I was standing there in a bikini feeling like khocking all their heads together when this group of over-dressed pious arses ask me if I've found Jesus.
I simply told them in two short words (one of which started with an 'f') what to do and the fighting in my family stopped while the kids all rolled around the grass laughing their heads off because they knew I was going to fly into them next.
The outcome was that the JWs used to pass our house on the other side of the street after that and my children had a wonderful story to relate every time someone mentioned what a nuisance they were.

emoticon

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The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.William Spencer Churchill

4/2/2009, 2:09 pm

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Kourtesan
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

Yes, I remember that tale, MO. A classic, I say. emoticon

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4/2/2009, 2:12 pm

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Lesigner Girl
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

I love all your responses. emoticon

I've never been approached by JWs, but have plenty of questions I'd like to ask them if they ever did. emoticon

If they bring their kids along, I hope it would prompt them to start asking tough questions as well. emoticon

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4/2/2009, 6:19 pm

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Morwen Oronor
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

They've heard about you Lesa, the word has been passed around, as it has with me. They stay right away.

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The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.William Spencer Churchill

4/3/2009, 1:27 am

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Lesigner Girl
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

Maybe it's the Flying Spaghetti Monster on the back of my car. emoticon

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4/3/2009, 11:58 am

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Kourtesan
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Re: Door-to-door Christians

LG, I doubt they even understand what that is all about. emoticon

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4/3/2009, 12:05 pm

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