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Lady Emm
Hurley Bird
Registered: 06-2006
Posts: 4351
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 ATTN: GOASKA
There seems to be a Grouop of Fanatics that may be on the lookout for you. I am letting you know this in order to warn you in advance so that you can destroy any incriminating evidence.
I have sent them information leading them away from you, leaving false trails and disinformation for your continued safety.
http://www.freethegnomes.com/
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8/22/2008, 11:25 pm
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GoAskAlice
Vincent Cleanup Crew
Registered: 09-2006
Posts: 1090
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
OMG!!! What should I DO!!!
Okay...think...and breathe. Remain calm. I can do this.
First...I'll position the Tikis around the perimeter of the garden. I can trust them. They OWE me (but that's a story for another time). No one will get close with my Tikis on guard.
Hmmm...what to do about that pesky "sealed in the bulkhead" incident. A thorough cleaning of all surfaces (with bleach)...especially the stairs...I'll start with that. Fortunately for me, the crime scene is somewhat contained. It shouldn't be too difficult to handle.
The REAL problem is, "How do I keep Gnomey from talking?" Boarding school in Switzerland? No. Oh, oh!! I know! He's always going on and on (bitterly, I might add) about those Gnomes who get "taken" from yards and sent around the world on amazing adventures. I mean, Jeez, he practically worships the stupid Travelocity Gnome. Hmmm...a bribe? Keep your mouth shut and there's a trip around the world in it for you.
Oh no...gotta go. There's a suspicious new shrubbery across the street. It wasn't there when I went to bed last night. Strange, but it seems to be drinking a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Huh. Shrubbery with arms?...time to notify the tikis.
Last edited by GoAskAlice, 8/23/2008, 8:57 am
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8/23/2008, 8:55 am
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Lady Emm
Hurley Bird
Registered: 06-2006
Posts: 4351
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
Personally I have information that the tikis can be bribed with citonella oil- be sure you have enough to keep yours happy and they will stand guard.
The bribe of travel is good- you could also tell the gnomes that the Tavelocity guy is a slave who is filmed in front of a greenscreen and doesn't really get to do any travelling- tell him that my son the Lightinggod said so (he hasn't done any commercials yet but he has done a couple movies and he would testify for one of my friends)
I am sending some of the scarier fairies to patrol your neighborhood.......
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8/24/2008, 1:13 pm
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piratemc
Sawyer's Harem
Registered: 07-2006
Location: Fascination Street
Posts: 4112
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ATTN: GOASKA
Nah, Tikis are totally happy with a bottle of rum and a bowl of poi. Of course, the rum and the poi do tend to lessen their ability to remain on guard. Just remind them that the volcanoes wait...
(does anyone remember that classic scene from Muppet Treasure Island when Miss Piggy made her entrance? BOOOM! Shakalakaaaaahhhhh!
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8/24/2008, 6:54 pm
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MrsDouglass
Sawyer's Harem
Registered: 05-2006
Posts: 5126
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
quote
piratemc wrote:
(does anyone remember that classic scene from Muppet Treasure Island when Miss Piggy made her entrance? BOOOM! Shakalakaaaaahhhhh!
No (that's the only one I haven't seen), but yesterday my 3 year old said, "Mom, you and daddy look just Kermit and Miss Piggy."
If only I could deny it.
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8/24/2008, 8:04 pm
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GoAskAlice
Vincent Cleanup Crew
Registered: 09-2006
Posts: 1090
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
quote
MrsDouglass wrote:
quote
piratemc wrote:
(does anyone remember that classic scene from Muppet Treasure Island when Miss Piggy made her entrance? BOOOM! Shakalakaaaaahhhhh!
No (that's the only one I haven't seen), but yesterday my 3 year old said, "Mom, you and daddy look just Kermit and Miss Piggy."
If only I could deny it.
Your husband is green????
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8/25/2008, 8:46 am
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GoAskAlice
Vincent Cleanup Crew
Registered: 09-2006
Posts: 1090
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
Don't you guys worry. I've got the Tikis under control. Like I said, it's a story for another time, though.
BTW...Em's Scariest Fairies kick butt...
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8/25/2008, 8:47 am
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MrsDouglass
Sawyer's Harem
Registered: 05-2006
Posts: 5126
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
quote
GoAskAlice wrote:
Your husband is green????
Well, he does wear head to toe green everyday (He's in the Army), but mostly he's just tall and skinny while I'm short and fat.
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8/25/2008, 9:21 am
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piratemc
Sawyer's Harem
Registered: 07-2006
Location: Fascination Street
Posts: 4112
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ATTN: GOASKA
Seriously, you really really need to see Muppet Treasure Island. It is, hands down, one of the best ever. Watch it and tell me if you won't say for the rest of your life, "He was a frog...I was a pig!" and then just giggle.
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8/25/2008, 6:44 pm
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GoAskAlice
Vincent Cleanup Crew
Registered: 09-2006
Posts: 1090
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
Me too. I'm ashamed to say I've never seen it. Well, actually, that's not entirely true. I've seen parts of it. My kids loved it when they were little. This was during the stage when they rarely sat through a whole movie so I used the quiet time to my advantage. I saw bits and pieces while walking through the den, though. Tim Curry cracks me up.
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8/26/2008, 8:33 am
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piratemc
Sawyer's Harem
Registered: 07-2006
Location: Fascination Street
Posts: 4112
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ATTN: GOASKA
It really is hilarious. hugely hilarious.
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8/26/2008, 9:09 pm
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GoAskAlice
Vincent Cleanup Crew
Registered: 09-2006
Posts: 1090
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
I'm a gonna rent it!
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8/27/2008, 8:48 am
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slugger otoole
Beach Bum
Registered: 06-2008
Posts: 193
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ATTN: GOASKA
Tim Curry's in it? I've got to see it!
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8/27/2008, 1:05 pm
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GoAskAlice
Vincent Cleanup Crew
Registered: 09-2006
Posts: 1090
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
Anything with Tim Curry HAS to be seen...
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8/27/2008, 3:38 pm
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piratemc
Sawyer's Harem
Registered: 07-2006
Location: Fascination Street
Posts: 4112
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ATTN: GOASKA
Just the other day we watched Clue. Oh man, what fun.
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8/27/2008, 7:24 pm
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MrsDouglass
Sawyer's Harem
Registered: 05-2006
Posts: 5126
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
I can never think of him as anything but a sweet transvestite from Transsexual Tranylvania.
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8/27/2008, 8:17 pm
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GoAskAlice
Vincent Cleanup Crew
Registered: 09-2006
Posts: 1090
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Re: ATTN: GOASKA
quote
MrsDouglass wrote:
I can never think of him as anything but a sweet transvestite from Transsexual Tranylvania.
I get to look at the Sweet Transvestite every, single day. My daughter has a Rocky Horror Picture Show poster on her ceiling.
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8/28/2008, 8:01 am
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