tryingtowrite
Mini-NaNo Winner
Hero
Registered: 03-2007
Posts: 445
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Calling all Grammar Gurus!
I have some questions about this sentence: Hand trembling she touched the doorknob.
1 Is it passive?
2 Does it need a comma after Hand trembling?
3 Is this a better way to write it? She touched the doorknob with a trembling hand. Or is that one passive?
4 What about this version: With a trembling hand she touched the doorknob. I think it needs a comma after With a trembling hand.
5 How bout this: Her hand trembled as she touched the doorknob.
As you can tell I’m completely lost, any help would be greatly appreciated!
---
I'm not just staring out the window...I'm working!
|
|
2/26/2008, 10:18 pm
|
Send Email to tryingtowrite
Send PM to tryingtowrite
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
Hand trembling, she touched the doorknob - this is how I would write it.
I would avoid she touched the door with a trembling hand as it sounds like she is holding a trembling hand in her hand. Weird.
With a trembling hand is passive.
I would say her hand trembled is the second best, and hand trembling the bees knees... but I'm not a guru.
|
|
2/27/2008, 12:01 am
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
tryingtowrite
Mini-NaNo Winner
Hero
Registered: 03-2007
Posts: 445
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
Thanks, Blitzen! You confirmed most of what I thought. I started out thinking it should be one way, then got all twisted around. So it's nice to know I'm on the right track. 
quote:
I would avoid she touched the door with a trembling hand as it sounds like she is holding a trembling hand in her hand. Weird.
Hadn't noticed that! Sounds kind of horror storyish.
---
I'm not just staring out the window...I'm working!
|
|
2/27/2008, 12:40 am
|
Send Email to tryingtowrite
Send PM to tryingtowrite
|
David Meadows
Master
Hero
Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 197
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
quote:
Hand trembling she touched the doorknob.
1 Is it passive?
No.
"The dooknob was touched by her hand"
would be passive.
quote:
2 Does it need a comma after Hand trembling?
Yes.
quote:
3 Is this a better way to write it? She touched the doorknob with a trembling hand. Or is that one passive?
It's not passive and I personally like it better (that doesn't mean it's "more correct", just that I like it better).
quote:
4 What about this version: With a trembling hand she touched the doorknob. I think it needs a comma after With a trembling hand.
It doesn't need a comma. (Though if you were to ask me why it doesn't and the other example does... I would have to think hard about the answer.)
quote:
5 How bout this: Her hand trembled as she touched the doorknob.
That one is perfectly ok, no better or worse than the others.
---
"Is there some site on the web that offers a course in internet mindreading? Cuz everyone who's taken it should get their money back."
-- John Byrne
|
|
2/27/2008, 12:34 pm
|
Send Email to David Meadows
Send PM to David Meadows
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
Where has David's reply gone?
|
|
2/27/2008, 3:09 pm
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
David Meadows
Master
Hero
Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 197
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
---
"Is there some site on the web that offers a course in internet mindreading? Cuz everyone who's taken it should get their money back."
-- John Byrne
|
|
2/27/2008, 3:09 pm
|
Send Email to David Meadows
Send PM to David Meadows
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
...
|
|
2/27/2008, 3:11 pm
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
I must have came in as you typed it - I could see on the outside you had replied, and also in your "last posts" but... there was no reply in here. Weird.
|
|
2/27/2008, 3:21 pm
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
David Meadows
Master
Hero
Registered: 09-2003
Posts: 197
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
I've seen that a few times myself recently. Often I can't see my own last post unless I refresh the page. Weird.
---
"Is there some site on the web that offers a course in internet mindreading? Cuz everyone who's taken it should get their money back."
-- John Byrne
|
|
2/27/2008, 3:43 pm
|
Send Email to David Meadows
Send PM to David Meadows
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
It's doing it again, with Firle. Computer meet  everybody  i'm going back to  if this doesn't sort itself out soon; if you can fix it, i'll  and someone else can  you, then we'll all  .
Sorry, this is way off topic now.
|
|
2/27/2008, 7:24 pm
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
/shouts: Runboard's got BUGS runboards got BUGS whooee over here, runboards got BUGS.
Please, Mr Thor, sir, please don't rescind my membership. I don't know what came over me there.
Mwahahahahaha{choke}
|
|
2/27/2008, 7:26 pm
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
Reythia
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 11-2005
Posts: 453
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
quote:
David Meadows wrote:
quote:
4 What about this version: With a trembling hand she touched the doorknob. I think it needs a comma after With a trembling hand.
It doesn't need a comma. (Though if you were to ask me why it doesn't and the other example does... I would have to think hard about the answer.)
Actually, I disagree. For those who don't want to scroll, here were the two sentences under discussion again:
Hand trembling she touched the doorknob.
With a trembling hand she touched the doorknob.
I would write them like this:
Hand trembling, she touched the doorknob.
With a trembling hand, she touched the doorknob.
The reason I would put the comma in the first sentence (like Meadows and Blitzen) is because "hand trembling" is an additional but non-necessary clause. In other words, the "real" sentence here is "She touched the doorknob." You've added extra information by saying "hand trembling", but since it can't stand on its own (it's not a full sentence), you have to attach it to the rest via a comma.
The reason I would put the comma in the second sentence is different. Here, the "real" sentence is actually: "She touched the doorknob with a trembling hand." But you've inverted it, so it needs a comma to make it clear where the separation between parts goes.
Another example of this type would be this pair of sentences:
She ran to the store quickly. (typical structure)
Quickly, she ran to the store. (inverted structure)
It looks funny because it's not the typical way we write English (ie: noun, then verb, then other stuff). When we move the "other stuff" to the front, we're really writing poetically more than anything else. That's fine, but you still need the comma to offset the inverted piece and make it clear where the "normal" writing starts up again.
Does that make sense? Meadows, what do you think?
(Oh, and on everything else you asked, Trying, I agree with Meadows.)
---  -- YAR! |
|
2/27/2008, 7:34 pm
|
Send Email to Reythia
Send PM to Reythia
AIM
MSN
|
Reythia
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 11-2005
Posts: 453
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
MWAhahahha! I win! 
(You know, Meadows, we really need to keep a scoreboard of these things somewhere. Of course, half the time we end up in arguments because there's a typical "American" way versus a "British" way, so we'd have to exclude such things, I suppose.)
quote:
David Meadows wrote:
I need to read the chapter fully, but I'm tending to think Reythia is right (though I still don't think I'm wrong)
Hahaha! Quite alright, Meadows. You just go on thinking whatever your ego insists. We'll love you anyhow!
And in truth, I've seen examples of this without a comma in published writing. Which doesn't mean it's right, but it does mean it's "safe" as far as editors and such go. Of course, you won't hear me admit that aloud!
--- -- YAR! |
|
2/27/2008, 8:49 pm
|
Send Email to Reythia
Send PM to Reythia
AIM
MSN
|
tryingtowrite
Mini-NaNo Winner
Hero
Registered: 03-2007
Posts: 445
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
Thanks, everyone! Maybe I'll get grammar figured out yet. 
Speaking of bugs, I couldn't see the last two posts till I went to post. Hmm. Is that comma suppose to be there? Ugh!
---
I'm not just staring out the window...I'm working!
|
|
2/27/2008, 11:03 pm
|
Send Email to tryingtowrite
Send PM to tryingtowrite
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
Hey, I saw Firle's reply. Yayhey for Thor.
|
|
2/28/2008, 4:09 pm
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
Reythia
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 11-2005
Posts: 453
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
Who's Thor? I mean, besides a big lightning god.
--- -- YAR! |
|
2/28/2008, 5:11 pm
|
Send Email to Reythia
Send PM to Reythia
AIM
MSN
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
Thor is God hereabouts; this may be balooney but Thor owns Runboard. He created Runboard. He oversees Runboard. In the beginning was Thor, and he said "let there be Runboard."
I'm a cynic - I don't believe. I've never seen proof. He has never posted on any forum I've ever been in.
But if he does exist, wow, how high must be his post count, and what is his title, I wonder?
(Firle can probably sum it up better than this).
|
|
2/28/2008, 7:46 pm
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
Blitzen
Grand Master
Hero
Registered: 12-2004
Location: falkirk
Posts: 208
|
|
Reply | Quote
|
|
Re: Calling all Grammar Gurus!
I went there, and saw him. I am in awe.
|
|
2/29/2008, 10:31 am
|
Send Email to Blitzen
Send PM to Blitzen
|
Add a reply
Powered by AkBBS 0.9.5b - Link to us
- Blogs
- Hall of Honour
- Chat
Click here to get your own free message board
|
You are not logged in (login)
GMT is: 9/8/2008, 12:34 am
|
|
|
)
