femfree
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Riding Out The Storm - What To Do During No Contact
Riding out the No Contact Storm
TOP 10 THINGS TO DO
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s
better to leave them broken than try to hurt
yourself putting it back together.
I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.
Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant
everything to you, but you meant nothing to
him.
_______________
1. Organize your bra, pantyhose and makeup stuff, clean out a kitch cupboard, small tasks to fill the time.
2 Draw a picture of him and put it on your pillow and punch it until your arm is so sore you couldn't go out anyway. If you're a guy, organize your tool box then in Step 2 draw a picture of her and really tell her off.
2. Get in touch with your anger. He treated you bad and you should be mad.
3. Play some good breakup songs and do some aerobics. Get a good workout. Join some single volunteers. Give your time and talents to good people, not bad ones.
4. Grab your list of Top 10 things he did that really hurt you. Add to it. Do up some 3x5 cards so you can throw them in your pocket for later.
5. Add on to the songs below. Do you online buds a favor.
6. Write a poem.
7. Get thee to Church on Sunday - God promised he'd get us throught the bad stuff.
8. Read some of those quotes from people
http://abuserecovery.synthasite.com/
9. Remind Yourself - Call Him? Talk to him? Respond to Him? Drive Past His House? Check his web page? "I wouldn't give him the satisfaction."
10+. Meet a friend for coffee.
Volunteer to help others or animals.
Go workout at a gym.
get into a really good book.
Have a buring night where you and your friends burn all the stuff that reminds you of him. Look up the quote of the day, joke of the day, learn a new word each day.
For me, being around other people helped to keep my mind off of him and all that had happened. I felt numb all over, however, it was better than staying home alone obsessing over him.
BREAKUP SONGS:
Eurythmics _ Would I Lie to You?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tjvyJs1SZA&feature=related
Angry Breakup Songs. We all have those moments when we blare angry music at full volume on our stereo in an attempt to release those toxic feelings. Here are some awesome angry breakup songs:
Elton John I'm Still Standing
Tori Amos-- Precious Things
Pat Benatar-- Love is a Battlefield
Ben Folds Five-- Song For the Dumped
Black Eyed Peas-- Shut Up
Ray Charles-- Hit the Road Jack
Sheryl Crow-- Anything But Down
Ani DiFranco-- Outta Me, Onto You
Elton John-- Love Lies Bleeding
Evanescence-- Call Me When You're Sober
Fleetwood Mac-- The Chain
Fleetwood Mac-- Go Your Own Way
J Geils Band-- Love Stinks
Green Day-- Good Riddance
Greg Kihn-- The Breakup Song (They Don't Write 'Em)
Avril Lavigne-- So Much For My Happy Ending
Alanis Morisette-- You Oughta Know
Pearl Jam-- Black
Tom Petty-- You Got Lucky
The Police-- Can't Stand Losing You
The Postal Service- Nothing Better
REM-- The One I Love
Cher-- Believe
Cher-- Strong Enough
Christina Aguilera-- Fighter
Destiny's Child-- Survivor
Lara Fabian-- I Will Love Again
Gloria Gaynor-- I Will Survive
M People- Moving on Up
Scandal-- Goodbye to You
Nancy Sinatra-- These Boots are Made For Walkin'
I'm Still Standing by Elton John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lK-0wfHutk
My Give a Damn's Busted
http://www.minibite.com/send/busted.htm
I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I
Take a Hike Creep
http://www.minibite.com/send/hike.htm
Hit the Road Jack
http://www.minibite.com/send/hittheroad.htm
Watch Me
http://www.minibite.com/send/watchme.htm
Home Wrecker
http://www.minibite.com/send/homewrecker.htm
These Boots Were Made for Walking by Nancy Sinatra
http://www.minibite.com/send/boots.htm
You Don't Own Me by Lesley Gore
http://www.minibite.com/oldies/youdont.htm
Kiss This
http://www.minibite.com/send/kissthis.htm
Last edited by femfree, Mar/30/2009, 7:31 am
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Children? They don't want presents, they just want to see your face light up when they come in the room.
A member's quote
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Mar/21/2009, 9:32 am
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karen d
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Re: Riding Out The Storm - What To Do During No Contact
I moved to another state by my kids to help me get over joe. Been 3 days. I still love the sorry sob. Soooooooo N. always right. never treated me good. physical verbal emotional abuse. why can't I get it over with? maybe the "I love you calls everynight except last night tear me to pieces. what to do?
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May/16/2009, 10:50 am
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femfree
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Re: Riding Out The Storm - What To Do During No Contact
Hi. I think you're just going through a bout of Malignant Optimism - we all do.
If he calls, hang up the split second you hear his voice. It's that easy.
Get a record of his calls - you can have him charged with harassment. He'll soon stop when he realizes he is going to ruin his own reputation. But don't take his bait.
Hang in there - it's only a few days for you. It does get better but it usually takes about the 3-6 months time before it all begins to make sense and we refind our strengths.
I know it's rough - they are such awful creatures.
Take Care
femfree
"If only he tried hard enough", "If he only really wanted to heal", "If only we found the right therapy", "If only his defences were down", "There MUST be something good and worthy under the hideous facade", "NO ONE can be that evil and destructive", "He must have meant it differently" "God, or a higher being, or the spirit, or the soul is the solution and the answer to our prayers". The narcissist holds such thinking in barely undisguised contempt. To him, it is a sign of weakness, the scent of prey, a gaping vulnerability. He uses and abuses this human need for order, good, and meaning - as he uses and abuses all other human needs. Gullibility, selective blindness, malignant optimism - these are the weapons of the beast. And the abused are hard at work to provide it with its arsenal.
The Malignant Optimism of the Abused - Dr. Sam Vaknin
http://samvak.tripod.com/journal27.html
Last edited by femfree, May/18/2009, 11:40 am
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Children? They don't want presents, they just want to see your face light up when they come in the room.
A member's quote
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May/18/2009, 11:39 am
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Rowie17
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 Re: Riding Out The Storm - What To Do During No Contact
I need help. I know my STBX-BF is an NP. We've been together on an off for 20 years. We have one child who hates him. I can't tell anyone of the pain and humiliation my NP has put me though as I am the "strong one" in the family - the one who doesn't take any crap!! What a laugh - if they only knew - but they don't have any idea because I am too embarrassed to to tell them. Long story short he has dumped me with no warning or remorse and is living with his new GF. He left a message on my phone after 2 weeks saying he is hibernating and dealing with some problems, but does not want to end our relationship. I know he will call again, I wait for the phone to ring hoping it's him. I really want to ignore him but I miss him so much!! I'm pathetic, what should I say to him. I really have to end it and get on with my life - this can go on for another 20 years.
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Jun/3/2009, 1:14 pm
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