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lexie1014
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why does everyone believe them?
my husband is a sociopath and everyone in the world thinks hes a great guy and im a raging lunetic? why is that?
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Feb/18/2009, 9:29 pm
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Clariboo1
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
Hi Lexie
Sociopaths are able to show emotions that they are in fact not experiencing. This makes others think that they are in control of their emotions.
And it makes us look like we are over-reacting, neurotic and irrational.
Its a terrible situation to be in and I'm really, really sorry for you. I hope you stick around here, because there are many of us here who understand that he is not at all a nice guy.
The N board here is also a great place to get support and its much more active than this board.
Hugs,
Clariboo
---
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it"
Nelson Mandela
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Feb/19/2009, 12:44 am
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LillyAngel
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
Hi Lexie,
God I understand where you are coming from with this...
My NS is brilliant at this,he has everyone,the Social Worker included,thinking what a lovely well spoken,charming young man..if only they knew...
I've found that with people that don't understand abuse or manipulation at least,that it is a COMPLETE waste of time trying to convince them otherwise..and mention personality disorders then they really start to think it's YOU thats off the rocker!!
Like you said they make us look like the ones who are lunatics!!
Don't waste your breath on the ones who don't understand..save your energy..I've found it's simpler to go along with them...
Tell the ones who do believe you and who will validate your experience..
and leave the rest to believe what they want...
Hugs
Lillyx
Last edited by LillyAngel, Feb/19/2009, 5:46 am
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Feb/19/2009, 5:45 am
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Victimizedwife
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
I always thought the same thing. When we started individual therapy before I knew he was a sociopath, I though oh great, now he'll have a professional swooning over what a great guy he is, and that I am overly emotional and irrational. Well, the opposite happened. The therapist saw through his enamel, that's what it is enamel. The fact you feel emotion is what makes you stable. Also remember that they push your buttons on purpose to make you look irrational in front of people. My soon to be ex does it to me all the time. The key is not to react, look them in the face and smile. It will drive them nuts....
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Feb/19/2009, 9:18 am
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Lizzy82
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
In my experience, sociopaths usually are surrounded by two groups of people - a group who thinks they're GREAT (they believe the lie), and a group who sees through them. You probably know people (maybe your family? Your friends?) who don't like him. Listen to them and keep them on your side.
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Feb/19/2009, 10:43 am
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midnight dasher
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
Well xNP had himself convinced that the world adored him or was jealous of him. I remember when he turned on the mic at our local mountain bar and tried to play stand up comedian. People were p*ssed at his arrogance and audacity. People were saying why would he think they wantred to listen to him??? After he left town, many people came out of the woodwork to tell me how creepy he was and how so many people were on to him. They were being polite for my beneift while I was still hypnotised by him.
---
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life"
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Feb/22/2009, 10:50 am
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nicoleda21
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
i used to think my P charmed the pants off everyone and had the world fooled, but sooo many people have told me they see an evil inside of him. he also thinks hes a great liar but ive recently discovered that everyone was on to him the whole time.
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Feb/22/2009, 5:20 pm
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samvaknin
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
Abusers co-opt mental health and social welfare workers and compromise them – even when the diagnosis is unequivocal – by flattering them, by emphasizing common traits or a common background, by forming a joint front against the victim of abuse ("shared psychosis"), or by emotionally bribing them. Abusers are master manipulators and exploit the vulnerabilities, traumas, prejudices, and fears of the practitioners to "convert" them to the offender's cause.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html
In the process of mediation, marital therapy, or evaluation, counselors frequently propose various techniques to ameliorate the abuse or bring it under control. Woe betides the party that dares object or turn these "recommendations" down. Thus, an abuse victim who declines to have any further contact with her batterer – is bound to be chastised by her therapist for obstinately refusing to constructively communicate with her violent spouse.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html
Therapists, marriage counselors, mediators, court-appointed guardians, police officers, and judges are human. Some of them are social reactionaries, others are narcissists, and a few are themselves spouse abusers. Many things work against the victim facing the justice system and the psychological profession.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse2.html
Male therapists may assume the mantle of the "chivalrous rescuer", the "knight in the shining armour" – thus, inadvertently upholding the victim's view of herself as immature, helpless, in need of protection, vulnerable, weak, and ignorant. The male therapist may be driven to prove to the victim that not all men are "beasts", that there are "good" specimen (like himself). If his (conscious or unconscious) overtures are rejected, the therapist may identify with the abuser and re-victimise or pathologise his patient.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily24.html
The abuser mistreats only his closest – spouse, children, or (much more rarely) colleagues, friends, and neighbours. To the rest of the world, he appears to be a composed, rational, and functioning person. Abusers are very adept at casting a veil of secrecy – often with the active aid of their victims – over their dysfunction and misbehavior.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse9.html
---
Copy-paste these links:
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 9 books about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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Feb/24/2009, 10:53 am
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youdisgustme
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
These types of people are not common knowledge, which makes getting away with lying very easy. They don't give any reason for people to doubt them. Their tone of voice is warm and friendly, their face is open and earnest looking, they hug and touch, they are generous and helpful. They are simply the best liars.
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Mar/2/2009, 5:04 am
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MI backagain
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Re: why does everyone believe them?
My N/P uses a different voice when talking to the public then he does when talking to me...it is odd.
Everyone loves mine too......well except for my family. the first day my mom met him she said something wasnt quite right about him. The NP forced me to tell him exactly what she said about him and he held that against me and my mom.
He is a member of support groups and they all think he is the best, I just wish they would see who he really is. He just joined another one and they LOVE him. He is being promoted to authority positions too....its tough to watch.
But there are former coworkers of him that dont like him, so some do see thru him I suppose.
---
"cause goodbyes are like a roulette wheel
you never know where they're gonna land
first you're spinning, then you're standing still......you'll finally understand
that I was better as a memory than as your man"
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Mar/3/2009, 10:53 am
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