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NEEDRECOVERY18
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Re: Female Narcissists
LOL ACTUALLY I REMEMBER WITH MY FEMALE N ONE DAY HAVING A FEW BUCKS TO DO A LITTLE SHOPPING AFTER SCHOOL. WE WORE UNIFORM BUT MY HOUSE WAS CLOSER ON OUR WAY TO THE STORES. I CHANGED OUT OF MY UNIFORM CLOTHES AND FIXED MY HAIR NICELY. SHE HOWEVER STILL HAD ON HER UNIFORM I TOLD HER WE HAD TO HURRY UP BEFORE THE STORES CLOSE SO WE SHOULD GET GOING. SHE TOLD ME NO I JUST CAN'T GO OUT LOOKING LIKE THIS I NEED TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES ALSO (HER WAY OF MAKING SURE THAT I DIDN'T LOOK BETTER, OR GET MORE ATTENTION THAN SHE DID) I SAID OKAY BUT WE HAVE TO BE QUICK. WE GOT TO HER HOME WHICH MIGHT I ADD WAS GOING OUT OF THE WAY OF THE STORE WE HAD TO GO TO AND SHE TOOK LIKE AN HOUR GETTING DRESSED UNTIL IT FINALLY BEGAN TO RAIN. SHE DEFINITELY MADE SURE SHE WAS PRETTIER THAN ME BUT ONCE WE WERE LEAVING OUT HER MOTHER TOLD HER SHE COULDN'T LEAVE OUT THAT LATE SO I WOUND UP JUST GOING BACK HOME ALONE JUST BECAUSE SHE HAD TO CHANGE HER CLOTHES WHEN WE COULDVE BEEN TO THE STORES AND BACK BY THEN.
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Jul/27/2009, 8:23 pm
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green eyes13
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Re: Female Narcissists
Yes, these women are very good at sizing up their victims.... and the fact that you appeared to have some $$$ indicates your FN noticed that and went after you. And she probably sized you up as someone lonely too, so she could control your social agenda. I am very outgoing and pretty social, have an assortment of friends. Yet I have to say that most of my normal friends don't want to do anything and this current FN one always is up for a challenge and fun, sometimes downright wild times with drinking and doing goofy things too!! She noticed the way I dressed, my diamond wedding ring and the car I drove.
Is your FN the same way that I describe?
Regarding therapists, well I have been to a few... and some have helped a little, but they don't really get to the root of the problem... Don't be afraid of going to one. It's usually covered by your health insurance and you may have to go to a few before you find you got the right one to assist you. I am in the process of looking for another one as the one I have been going to isn't really helping me... I need to be asked tough questions and get tough advice and this one throws a lot of softballs so to speak, the safe and easy way out...
If I may ask Need Recovery, how old are you? You seem to be college aged... And as you already know, with me, I was never targeted until I reached my 40's... weird... maybe I was involved with FN throughout my life, but these 2 women really got to me and that alone opened up my eyes...
Last edited by green eyes13, Aug/7/2009, 5:39 pm
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Jul/28/2009, 9:14 pm
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NEEDRECOVERY18
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Re: Female Narcissists
EXACTLY THE SAME IF YOU'VE READ ANY OF MY OTHER POSTS YOU WILL SEE HOW MUCH YOU ARE DESCRIBING YES I AM IN COLLEGE NOW. MOST OF WHAT I'M REFERRING TO IS LATER YEARS IN HIGH SCHOOL BUT WHAT WOULD REALLY BE THE POINT IN KNOWING AGES ANYWAY WITH N'S THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME INTENTIONS, AND THEY ALL ACT SIMILAR TO CHILDREN IN A WAY NO MATTER WHAT AGE.AND SHE NEVER TOOK ANYTHING SERIOUS, EVEN WHEN THINGS WERE EXTREMELY SERIOUS, SHE WOULD USE HER JOKES AS A WAY FOR ANYONE TO GET EMOTIONAL, SHE HATED THE WORD "LOVE".
AND YES ACTUALLY SHE SIZED ME UP TO BE A LONELY, WITH MY OWN SPACE (JUST MOVED INTO NEW AREA NEW SCHOOL), A GIRL WITH MONEY, AT LEAST MORE THAN SHE HAD AND THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER.
I WAS ALWAYS A GOOD GIRL WHO NEVER WAS INTO GOING OUT MUCH OR PARTYING, BUT SHE INFLUENCED ME TO START DRINKING (I KNOW I HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN) GOING TO MORE SOCIAL GATHERINGS AND PARTIES, AND STAYING OUT LATE. WHICH BY THE WAY WAS SO LATE THAT I HAD GOTTEN INTO TROUBLE MYSELF 6 a.m. TROUBLE. MY MOM DIDN'T LIKE HER AFTER SHE BEGAN TO INFLUENCE ME WRONGLY BUT I STOOD UP FOR HER FOR SOME STRANGE REASON. I ALWAYS WOUND UP STANDING UP FOR HER WHETHER IT WAS AGAINST MY FRIENDS OR FAMILY.
SHE HAD BEEN "POOR" WHEN ME AND HER WERE "FRIENDS" AND STAYED OVER MY HOUSE FOR SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF TIME. SHE LIVED IN A VERY SMALL ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT AND WOULD HAVE TO SHARE A BED WITH HER MOTHER, SISTER AND RARELY HAD ANY FOOD.SHE NEVER CARED ABOUT HER HOME EITHER SHE WOULD LITERALLY THROW HER GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR AND EXPECT HER MOTHER TO CLEAN IT UP EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT THE CLEANEST OR PERFECT. I DIDN'T MIND BEING AROUND HER AS OFTEN IN THE BEGINNING EITHER UNTIL I BEGAN TO SEE HOW SHE TRULY WAS. I COULDNT COMPLETELY AVOID HER BECAUSE WE WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL. BUT WHEN I COULD IT SEEMED AS THOUGH SHE STILL COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT I WAS DISTANCING MYSELF AND WOULDNT UNTIL SHE FINALLY FOUND A NEW IN HER EYES BETTER SUPPLY SOURCE.
I NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW SHE COULD CONSTANTLY LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE AND SAY SHE WAS BETTER THAN THEM. SEEING HER LIVING CONDITIONS A PERSON WOULD THINK SHE WOULD HAVE MORE UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION.
THAT IS ANOTHER REASON WHY I'M WAS SKEPTICAL BECAUSE OF THE THERAPIST ACTUAL ABILITY TO GET DEEP AND DOWN INTO IT. AND NOT JUST GIVE ME SUBLIMINAL ADVICE. I WILL TRY AND SEEK COUNSELING. BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT THIS FORUM HAS BEEN KEEPING ME PRETTY STRONG SO FAR AND IS ACTUALLY HELPING WITH GREAT ABUNDANCE.
Last edited by NEEDRECOVERY18, Jul/28/2009, 10:42 pm
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Jul/28/2009, 10:39 pm
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NEEDRECOVERY18
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Re: Female Narcissists
AND I HAVE TO ADMIT IN THE BEGINNING SHE WAS SO FUN AND FRIENDLY THAT SHE MADE MY OTHER BESTFRIEND LOOK KINDA BORING AND MORE SERIOUS THAN I SAW HER BEFORE.
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Jul/28/2009, 10:46 pm
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green eyes13
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Re: Female Narcissists
Wow!!! That's amazing 'cause I feel that my FN influenced me too.... I was always a social drinker. I had my crazy times when I was in college and dabbled in things I shouldn't have. that is why they are fun in the beginning. They are spontaneous and do fun, crazy things which most if not all of my friends would never do.. all at a price, as you know... they put you in harm's way more often than not.
I have not read any of your other posts. Where would I find them on runboard? Under what subject line?
Also, yes, in regard to therapists, most are not all that good or effective. I too, have benefited from this website, which wasn't around 5 years ago when I went through my first hell with the other FN...
I am still friends with the second FN, but she has so much drama now I am tired of it. and about your FN having empathy and understanding.. forget about it.. they don't have any of that.. they are only emotional about their own issues/pains... not ours... they pretend to listen to us, but really only want us to hear them as a sounding board. I have never met a poor FN... usually the FN's I have met are rich or used to a rich lifestyle through their connections/resources....
Last edited by green eyes13, Aug/7/2009, 5:44 pm
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Jul/29/2009, 9:52 am
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NEEDRECOVERY18
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Re: Female Narcissists
I guess if you click on my user-name it will probably show links to my posts. and she wasn't poor if you looked at her from the outside. if you just saw her on the streets you would have no idea, you'd probably (even though it sounds a bit shallow) think she was rich. how bold and, well dressed and mannered she seemed in public at times. even though you can't judge a persons manners by how rich they are.she surely fit the ideal of what someone with the wealthy life would look like, always bragging about having this and that.
even though i have to admit i was a bit bored with my life before meeting her sometimes i look back and regret the decisions i made being with her and after her.
you would think with her being the party girl and all she would've atleast remembered my birthday. that was a day i didn't hear from her all morning, or afternoon or see her. usually she would stop by my house everyday after school. that day however i didn't hear from her or see her until 9.p.m. and it was some crummy voicemail message that almost sounded like she didn't want to make it. but i guess she didn't want to completely lose me as a source so she did anyways. when i asked her what happened to her she couldn't really come up with any good excuse for that day. she even had the audacity to ask me why i didn't call her and invite her with me, keep in mind i had no idea what i was going to do that day, and if she would've called me or stopped by like she usually did it wouldn't have been a problem of me inviting her with me whatever i did, and she knew that and i even told her two days before my b-day was coming up.you would think a supposed best or close friend would remember that. have you experienced anything similar?
Last edited by NEEDRECOVERY18, Jul/29/2009, 5:14 pm
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Jul/29/2009, 5:12 pm
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green eyes13
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Re: Female Narcissists
actually, the opposite thing happened to me.... with both FN's. The first FN went waaaay overboard and bought me a small coach purse... (not sure if it was used or a regift, knowing her it was probably a regift... hehe) and also took me out for my birthday with a few close friends. and when i had a party she brought over a HUGE bouquet of flowers and made a lot of food.... all for show as she is such a "look at what i've done" kind of person. The current FN I was surprised was very generous to me as well to her... but she is self-destructive in general and always goes back to bad habits/behavior... so it is a roller coaster with her. she is not as bad a friend as the last one, but it does take its toll on me with her crap i have to hear continuously.
did your FN ever flirt with you at all? just curious, 'cause the ones I have known have a lot of charm and charisma as well as a sense as to how to get you mesmerized with them... because your FN was pretty, i am sure she turned a lot of heads and probably knew that she was pretty too....
Last edited by green eyes13, Aug/7/2009, 5:46 pm
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Jul/29/2009, 5:33 pm
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NEEDRECOVERY18
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Re: Female Narcissists
yes she knew she was pretty and everthing but we were both into the opposite sex. unless you mean something different as far as flirting? she hated when women came onto her, she would feel so bad about it on the inside that she would hurt me emotionally or treat me meanly on the outside to get over it. even though i didnt get what the big deal was i wouldve atleast been flattered at the least.
i'm sorry for the emotional roller coaster you continuously have to be put through. i know it must be really hard for you right now, because the emotional rollercoaster was very hard for me to. you just have these questions in mind that how could someone be so hurtful one minute then treat you nicely the next?
Last edited by NEEDRECOVERY18, Jul/29/2009, 6:06 pm
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Jul/29/2009, 6:05 pm
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green eyes13
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Re: Female Narcissists
well, my fn is also very interested in the opposite sex and i am a heterosexual married woman. i think she plays people, men and women, and uses her sexuality as a form of power and manipulation. when we went out anywhere, both men and women would stare at her and this is even when she didn't always look so good. she knows her power with her beauty and power in and of itself is a strong aphrodisiac.
i know it's hard to figure out how nice they can be with you in the beginning and not so nice when their world is out of control or they're not getting what they want, they lash out. you seem like such a nice person too. i would never take advantage of a good friend. i think i am a nice person too and i think that's why fn's like us. we are loyal, obliging, caring people who they draw to them like a moth to a flame. i take complete responsibility for my own actions too, by the way, and know that i am on a roller coaster ride here. i am dealing with the constant state of chaos for now but won't forever.. it gets old really fast. are you feeling any better about your ex fn lately?
Last edited by green eyes13, Aug/7/2009, 5:48 pm
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Jul/29/2009, 7:42 pm
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NEEDRECOVERY18
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Re: Female Narcissists
YES EVEN WHEN THEY LOOK PRETTY PLAIN TO YOU THEY STILL AMAZE THE OUTSIDE WORLD, OR EVEN WHEN SHE DIDN'T WEAR MAKEUP (MAKEUP CRAZY) EVEN THOUGH SHE COULDN'T GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT HER MAKEUP, SOME OF THOSE SIMILAR TRAITS HAVE PASSED ON TO ME.
AND EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULD THINK THEY HAD A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE IN ACTUALITY THEY TREAT EVERYONE THE SAME WHETHER IT'S THERE PARENTS, SIBLINGS OR BOYFRIENDS. YES I CAN ALSO ACKNOWLEDGE WHEN I HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG, AND WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO I CONFESS UP TO IT, AND EVEN APOLOGIZE. WHICH IS SOMETHING SHE COULD NEVER DO.
NOWADAYS I HAVE BEEN DOING BETTER SINCE I STOPPED CHECKING HER WEBPAGE, AND STARTED COMING ON HERE. BUT I STILL LOOK BACK ON THINGS THAT SHE DID OR SAID TO ME. LIKE WHEN SHE WOULD KICK MY PRECIOUS DOG REALLY HARD. AND I'D ASK WHY DID YOU DO THAT? AND SHE'LL EITHER DENY IT OR SAY SHE DIDN'T MEAN TO. THAT REALLY HURTS ME TO THIS DAY. IT HAPPENED AWHILE AGO, BUT I LOVE MY DOG EVEN THOUGH I SOUND SORTA CORNY. SOMETIMES I EVEN THINK ABOUT WHAT OR HOW SHE WOULD FEEL IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS AND ACT THEM OUT. BUT OTHER THAN THAT I'M JUST ALRIGHT TRYING TO RECOVER IS ALL.
YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE PERSON AS WELL. OH I ONLY WISH THAT THE EVIL -N WOULD LEAVE YOU ALONE SO YOU WONT HAVE TO SUFFER ANY LONGER, YOURE RIGHT THOUGH THEY GET SORTA ROUTINE, ALOMST TO THE POINT WHERE THEY BECOME PREDICTABLE. AND WHEN YOU SEE THIER REACTIONS TO THINGS, AND HOW THEY VIEW THINGS IT IS JUST PLAIN SAD.
Last edited by NEEDRECOVERY18, Jul/29/2009, 9:07 pm
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Jul/29/2009, 9:04 pm
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