Tina78
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Mental Tormentor
Hi Dr Vaknin
The narcissistic ex in my life engineered a situation using facebook as a tool to inflict emotional abuse, and relived everything he did with me with another women and manipulates her to write things on there that i can relate to. is this a form of control by proxy and this is his sadistic side of his dark personality and even now after months of no contact hes still carrying on with this crazy making i just wondered if you could tell me why and am i shut of him for good???
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Aug/30/2009, 10:38 am
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samvaknin
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Re: Mental Tormentor
Losing the narcissist is no different to any other major loss in life. It provokes a cycle of bereavement and grief (as well as some kind of mild post traumatic stress syndrome in cases of severe abuse). This cycle has four phases: denial, rage, sadness and acceptance.
Denial can assume many forms. Some go on pretending that the narcissist is still a part of their life, even going to the extreme of "interacting" with the narcissist by pretending to "communicate" with him or to "meet" him (through others, for instance).
Others develop persecutory delusions, thus incorporating the imaginary narcissist into their lives as an ominous and dark presence. This ensures "his" continued "interest" in them – however malevolent and threatening that "interest" is perceived to be. These are radical denial mechanisms, which border on the psychotic and often dissolve into brief psychotic micro-episodes.
More benign and transient forms of denial include the development of ideas of reference. The narcissist's every move or utterance is interpreted to be directed at the suffering person, his ex, and to carry a hidden message which can be "decoded" only by the recipient.
Continue to read this article here (click on this link):
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq68.html
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Copy-paste these links:
Encyclopedia of Narcissism and Psychopathy
http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html
Buy 9 books about narcissists, psychopaths, and abusive relationships
http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html
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Sep/28/2009, 6:16 am
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Tina78
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Re: Mental Tormentor
i agree with all this except this narcissitic is self aware very intelligent like most are and knows that you will be looking at every utterence and relating it back to myself in anyway. And is using this as a way of mentally still being there (omnipresent). im aware that this makes me sound very much still in denial but isnt that what they are good at leaving you the emtional basketcase and them the calm and collected. I have detached physically but mentally this is proving a challenge and it seems perfect for him to offload his crap on me why living happily ever after with the other women.via this networking site
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Oct/3/2009, 11:55 am
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