NEEDRECOVERY18
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Registered: 07-2009
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GETTING OVER THE ABUSE
I am new to this forum and i was wondering if anyone could please help me or give me some advice to get over narcissistic abuse from a once thought of as close friend narcissist. We had been friends (or supposed friends) for 8 months until i discovered her real true self. Now it has been 6 months since we have ended out supposed "friendship" and i still can't get over all the hurt and pain she has put me through. The main thing that pains me most is the other supply that she will completely torture and demolish, and the fact that she seems to have this happy life even though she is so evil. i am also hurt by the fact that when we were supposed friends she hurt my little brother while i stood their and did nothing, i feel like a coward and i am so sad that i allowed her to do those things to him it absolutely pains me to know she is living almost carefree. in her made up perfect world, with her perfect body, skin, hair, and words. i am so hurt, confused, miserable, confused, afraid, and depressed i just want to kill myself or kill her (even though i know that wouldn't be the answer) but i just hate this can someone please help me or give me some advice, has anyone suffered like this please? i have been through what i believe to have been post traumatic stress disorder.
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Jul/26/2009, 10:23 pm
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LynnS
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Registered: 10-2008
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Re: GETTING OVER THE ABUSE
Hello, Needrecovery--
I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a friend like this and that you're dealing with PTSD. That's not unusual in the aftermath of a relationship with an N.
If you are still in contact with this person, I would suggest you cut off the contact first. Continuing to talk to her or follow what she's doing is going to cause you more pain.
Please read all you can from the information sections on our front page, too. Understanding what you're dealing with is important.
I would suggest that now that you've posted here to introduce yourself and your situation, you start posting on our General Discussion Narcissists board. The members will find your posts most easily there.
Have you considered counseling? Many of our members dealing with PTSD issues have found counseling to be very helpful.
I would also say that your feelings aren't unusual. N's are bullies, and we very often blame ourselves for what they do, but the blame belongs to them. If your little brother was hurt by her, she's responsible for hurting him. Bullies depends on the fact that you will stay silent and they create an atmosphere where you are afraid to stand up to them, so be gentle with yourself. Her behavior is not your fault.
We can't control the fact that other people will run into this person and possibly be hurt by them as well. They will learn their lessons just as we did. It's frustrating, but she is who she is. You can't change that. The best way to counter the effects of a Narcissist is to live the best life we can. Other people will see her on their own terms and in their own time and perhaps they'll realize they can talk to you about that if and when it happens if you move on from this experience a stronger person.
Recovery takes time. Detaching from her is the first step. Talking about it helps a lot. Knowing other people have been through something similar is usually a big relief.
Keep posting, read all you can, and I hope you join us on the General Discussion Narcissists board, too.
Lynn
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"The best way out is always through."--Robert Frost
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Jul/27/2009, 7:18 am
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