LynnS
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The Price of Pretend by Echo4
The Price of Pretend
You may presently be living in a place unlike any other; it exists somewhere between truth and deception. It is the result of and the penalty for living in someone else’s illusion and fantasy and making it yours and losing yourself within it.
You were invited into that world by a kind and friendly stranger and felt safe, special and valued there---for a moment. But soon found yourself in this place where you are now. A place where confusion and obsession exist and hurt rules the heart.
It was hard for many to leave that place but much harder for others to stay
The price of pretend:
In order to continue living in that world it became necessary to pretend.
You pretended that your needs, feelings and desires were not important.
You hid your disappointments and hurt feelings and feigned happiness for his benefit.
You pretended to be the person that he first idealized by trying harder the more he devalued you.
You anticipated and met all of his needs and acted as if it did not matter that he did not appreciate this.
You pretended that he was interesting and funny when he wasn’t.
You invented excuses for his strange behavior, that you came to believe were true.
You put on a show for family and friends to cover up your sorrow and suffering.
You pretended it didn’t matter that you lost contact with friends and family.
You believed you interests, passions and hobbies were only secondary.
You told yourself that you were an individual even as you were slowly fading away.
You pretended that he loved you even though deep down you that he didn’t.
You held on to the belief that he would change even though you knew he never would
The price of pretending is the loss of you and what is real.
There is a reason why they call it reality—BE THERE!
By Echo4
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"The best way out is always through."--Robert Frost
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Mar/5/2009, 5:30 pm
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Gemma Simone
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Re: The Price of Pretend by Echo4
WOW! That was me! I really was with an n.
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If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always gotten.
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Mar/25/2009, 11:10 pm
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prairiedust
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Re: The Price of Pretend by Echo4
Me too. It is as crazy as shopping at the hardware store for milk. Even when you know it isn't there and never will be, I just keep returning with an impossible hope of finding it where my head knows it will never be. My weak heart keeps oxygen from flowing to my brain in order to stop this madness.
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Mar/31/2009, 10:51 am
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