LynnS
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The Subtlest Force In The World by OGF
OldGrowthForest, one of our veteran members, has contributed many wonderful posts to the forums both on MSN and here at runboard.
This piece originally appeared on the MSN forum three years ago. I am including it in our Best of N.A.R. section as OGF recently reposted it here for our members. Thank you, OGF, for bringing this back for us. It is truly lovely.
The Subtlest Force In The World
By OldGrowthForest
God has decided that He and I need to have a closer relationship. He’s made it possible for us to spend a lot of time together lately, ever since five months ago when He inspired the xNbf to move on down the road with that drama.
It’s the most amount of time God and I have had together by ourselves in more than thirty years.
We’ve had a lot of talks about a lot of things, and from my perspective these discussions are mostly one-sided; God’s a good listener. But every once in a while something leaks into my mind or my feelings that I think is Him talking back.
Gandhi said, "Love is the subtlest force in the world." I’m learning what love is. I’m learning to open my heart to a more subtle love.
There is also the not-so-subtle one, whose love is mostly not subtle, and that’s Dog. She’s two, weighs about 38 pounds, a curly-haired breed, and she’s the sweetest, most gentle-hearted goof I’ve ever had for a companion.
We don’t really like to be apart from each other. Learning to love is not easy, but Dog teaches me a lot about love. I am not so proud these days as to think that Dog’s love is easily come by, for it is not, and she is a special gift.
A greater understanding between Dog and me is one of the things that has grown in the space the xNbf used to occupy.
I believe the best sort of self-love is akin to what one might do for a small child, or what Dog does - I make spending time with me the most important thing, I honestly listen to my self, I care about my own sense of wonder and joy, I choose to believe that gentleness and peace are strong, I keep the drama out, I protect me from bad men.
Chop wood, carry water.
I am learning to love Life, because it’s all one thing, it’s all God becoming, and it’s found in flowers and puppies and people and rain and mountains and stars. Love it all and don’t hang onto any of it, not even my family, not even myself, because it’s all changing all the time. Every bit of it has a built-in expiration date that is always secret, and that’s why it’s really important to love now, and not later. Don't wait until you think you've got everything right.
Hang onto all your goodness, all your love, love like you have for puppies and children and mountains and rain, because that’s forever and that’s how you gain eternal life. You learn to connect with those parts of yourself that are eternal. You figure out what they are, what they feel like, and then remember to go there in your mind and your heart, with your thoughts and your caring, moving into them and staying there, and letting the rest go.
I’m loving myself by facing the truth in a diary that I make myself keep, so I can’t slip into denial about the things that bother me, so I can’t run and hide.
I’m loving myself by promising everyday to live in such a way that when I go to sleep at night I will have peace of mind. I’m loving myself by caring for flowers, the beauty of which brings me joy everyday. Whoever said to take time to stop and smell the roses knew what they were talking about; there is something about plants in general but flowers in particular that is healing, especially those you grow for yourself.
I'm loving myself by praying, and I'm convinced that God's there and hears my prayers, but even if He isn't the very act of communicating helps me. In doing this I've come to realize why people say you have to do some things even if you don't believe in them, because the human mind works in such a way that you never see anything you won't believe in, and certainly not something subtle.
I think love is all I've ever wanted, and "love is the subtlest force in the world." When weighty things are removed, subtle things become more visible and beautiful.
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"The best way out is always through."--Robert Frost
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