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Daffodil66
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Hi DeMarie
Springtime is indeed refreshing and I always think very peaceful. I'm sorry to hear about your quandary. It's a difficult one, have you thought about writing to your BIL? Do you think he might get the letter? Or is there someone you could trust to deliver it? Maybe writing isn't great for you either though, you will know what is best. But DeMarie, maybe those closest to you offering the NC advice know the situation best. It's hard to think straight when these difficult issues arise. DeMarie you have to look after yourself, I often think about how many years I've had to live my life walking on eggshells. It's too precious. I've got to live my life how I wish to. You say BIL knows why you are NC. I'm sure if he does, he understands your difficulties. Go easy on yourself, and get support from your nearest and dearest. You will be in my thoughts.
Daffodil
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May/9/2009, 12:47 pm
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DeMarie57
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Daffodil,
Thank you for your thoughtful and compassionate reply.
We've just returned from a Mother's Day visit with my mom and grandmother. Since Nsis was busy with BIL, she was not there to ruin the day. It was peaceful and fun.
As far as I can see, this was the last opportunity I will have to reach out to BIL. It's passed so I will need to accept it. My nieces promised to get a message to him for me. They assured me he knows why I've not been to see him.
So far Nsis has supervised every visit to BIL. Her paranoia is particularly rampant with BIL's siblings, children and grandchildren. I hate that his passing is so stressful when there are so many people who would love to make his last days comfortable.
I'm sad...but it's not about me. I'm wishing him a passing that is not painful, that when his time comes someone is holding his hand wishing him a pleasant journey and that the first face he sees on the other side is his mother's. I can do that safely from a distance.
I deeply, deeply appreciate you Daffodil!
Hugs,
DeMarie
---
DeMarie57
True healing
involves body, mind and Spirit.
~ © Alison Stormwolf ~
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May/10/2009, 8:38 pm
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Daffodil66
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Dear DeMarie
I'm glad that you have managed to get a message to your BIL and are looking after yourself too. I'm sure he is in no doubt of your feelings and care for him as you certainly come across as being a very kind, thoughtful and caring individual. Be gentle with yourself and take good care. It's so lovely that you had a great Mother's Day, times like that are precious and they really energise you for the struggles, I find anyway.
You'll be in my thoughts, take good care
Daffodil
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May/13/2009, 10:36 am
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DeMarie57
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Hello Daffodil,
I hope I'm able to send them before being knocked offline. LOL The internet idols have not been looking favorably toward me the last few days!
BIL is still hanging in. He has even rallied a little and has been having conversations with his children and siblings-most of whom have been alienated by Nsis. It's been comforting to know that he is being swarmed with love.
Nsis sent a message to me that my husband and children should not plan to attend the funeral unless I apologize to her for getting the RO to stop the harassing/threatening emails. My reply was that I have been praying for her and her husband during this time; that my prayers will continue regardless of whether I or my family is here or there; that I find it very distasteful to use paying final respects to BIL as a control mechanism; and that whether or not my children attended would be left up to them to decide since they are adults and have their own relationships with their uncle.
I hope I did the right thing and will not accept any messages from anyone from this point. There are several trusted relatives who keep me posted on BIL's condition but don't discuss Nsis. I will stay in touch with them for the duration.
Thank you so much for your kindness, Daffodil. It means more than you know!
Hugs,
DeMarie
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DeMarie57
True healing
involves body, mind and Spirit.
~ © Alison Stormwolf ~
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May/18/2009, 1:14 pm
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DeMarie57
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
BIL passed on last week. By all accounts it was a peaceful passing. For that I am grateful.
It was odd that the day after he passed I woke up with a lightness in my heart. I realized how much I have restrained myself in dealing with Nsis in order to keep from creating more chaos in BIL's life. Now that he is safe.........I can breathe. I don't have to protect him any longer.
Hugs,
Demarie
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DeMarie57
True healing
involves body, mind and Spirit.
~ © Alison Stormwolf ~
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May/24/2009, 8:47 am
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Daffodil66
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Hi DeMarie
Hope you have found some peace. It's been a difficult time for you. Look after yourself and take the time you need to pick up again. You're in my thoughts. I understand how difficult it is to see the N hurt others. It's so hard when others are blind to the disorder, it doesn't sit easy. But be glad that you understand it and try to let it go past you as much as you can, because you do need to look after yourself and you deserve to have some peace. Take very good care
Daffodil
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May/30/2009, 5:53 pm
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DeMarie57
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Dearest Daffodil,
I hear and appreciate all that you say. BIL's death has been a turning point for me. It was very difficult not to see him in his last days BUT I survived it better than I expected.
Thank you for helping me stay centered during that time!
Hugs,
DeMarie
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DeMarie57
True healing
involves body, mind and Spirit.
~ © Alison Stormwolf ~
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Jun/7/2009, 11:37 am
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Daffodil66
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Hi DeMarie
I'm so glad you are feeling a little stronger, I hope each day brings a bit more ease. You'll have good days and bad, but stay strong, you have managed a difficult period, and like your picture says....'you can do it!' Be gentle with yourself.
Daffodil
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Jun/8/2009, 2:44 pm
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DeMarie57
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Re: Narcissister is on the warpath....yet again (long)
Dearest Daffodil,
Thank you!
Strength is coming in from all sides through family and old friends. No mention of Nsis!!!!! LOL I'm realizing that Nsis has never been a part of my interactions with our huge extended family. Those relationships existed without her before her personality disorder became so obvious and they stand strong today without her.
Life goes on and,right now, I'm enjoying mine like crazy! LOL
Hugs,
DeMarie
---
DeMarie57
True healing
involves body, mind and Spirit.
~ © Alison Stormwolf ~
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Jun/18/2009, 9:42 am
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