WillowWhite
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N stealing business
About 4 years ago, I hired an N (unknowingly) to work for my small business. She came to me, recommended by a mutual acquaintance. For the first year, she played it meek and mild-mannered while gaining my trust. In retrospect, there were plenty of red flags, but also lots of confusion and mixed messages coming from her. On the surface, she seemed like such a nice person, and the field we work in (wellness) tends to attract caring, new-agey types. She also played the religion card, big-time. What a scam artist she turned out to be.
Year 2, after I moved my business to a larger office and expanded her responsibilities, she moved in for the kill.
While I did all I could to talk her up to people and support her career development, she secretly did everything she could to undermine me and my business. She had signed a non-compete agreement, which meant she couldn't do the same type of work anywhere else, within a 15-mile radius of the office. Behind my back, she began setting up side deals almost immediately, and when I caught wind of it, lied to my face. I had referred some of my best clients to her (for the service she provides). Within 1 year of our moving to the new office, she purchased an office condo 2 miles away to house her COMPETING business.
Clients wanted to "stay out of it", so many of them went along with her. She stole client data, so I was largely out of luck. Since I had spent the last 2 years meeting with clients, selling her services, and telling them how wonderful she was, I felt like a complete and total chump.
My attorney told me that I could sue, but it would hardly be worth doing, because if I sued for a share of her profits, she would do everything she could not to show any. (The 1st year of a new business rarely shows profit anyway.) She set up the business in her husband's name to get around the noncompete agreement. She acted like HE was this big wellness mogul, when really he's a contractor with a full-time job. She had clients in on the subterfuge.
SHE EVEN COPIED THE PAINT COLORS I USED TO DECORATE MY OFFICE.
Any similar tales of woe?
Willow
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Jan/7/2009, 1:56 pm
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femfree
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Re: N stealing business
Hi WillowWhite. My 10+ years of managing such forums has produced many such stories. Often and sadly, from family members who stole the ideas, business plans, customers from their originators.
You are to be complimented. She is a copycat.
You wrote...
I had referred some of my best clients to her (for the service she provides).
You are the one with the business smarts and you will be able to succeed but it will come with the ingenuity, hardwork, creativity and skills you have that she doesn't. That is her weakness. She apparently has some 'services' you don't. But, you have others. This is your trump card. Play it. Outnarcissize her with your business talents.
Hugz
femfree
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Children? They don't want presents, they just want to see your face light up when they come in the room.
A member's quote
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Jan/8/2009, 11:00 am
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WillowWhite
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Re: N stealing business
Hi Femfree,
Thank you for the moral support! It's amazing, when this N stole my business (well, about half of it), everyone I spoke to seemed to know a similar story. Evidently this sort of thing happens a lot in accounting, law, and medical practices, as well as contracting services... you name it. My carpet guy stopped letting his employees give job estimates (he does them all himself now) when similarly scammed by an employee.
I'm mostly "over" what this N did to me, but boy did I learn a lot about narcissists from this experience!
This forum has helped me THE MOST in figuring everything out. Behavior patterns that puzzled me for months... all are spelled out here. Everyone needs to know about this stuff, so they know what to look for. I was totally blindsided.
Until someone is scammed by an N (romantically or financially), they can never imagine what the experience feels like. It's just not like dealing with normal people!
N's business seems to be doing well, but she doesn't seem to keep staff people very long. I imagine she just replaces those toasters when they wear out. LOL!
Willow
P.S. Love your Gibran quote-- "The Prophet" is one book that got me through all of this, embracing my scars.
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Jan/9/2009, 12:37 pm
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femfree
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Re: N stealing business
Hi. My N fromhell Xstepson has fired 18 people in the last couple of years from his plumbing business. Whenever he feels the need to muscle and get his NS from bullying people he plays spin the bottle and fires somebody.
It seems they are constantly playing games - they would rather do this than work at their businesses which they grow tired of quickly. However, he plays his cards close to his chest - which I guess smart business people should do, but it's to the point of paranoia.
Take Care
femfree
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Children? They don't want presents, they just want to see your face light up when they come in the room.
A member's quote
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Jan/9/2009, 4:04 pm
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WillowWhite
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Re: N stealing business
Femfree,
Interesting you should mention paranoia. This N was always drawing me into little "conspiracy theories"... trying to make me think other people who visited the office were spying for competitors. She discouraged me from working with one guy because she thought he would steal business (yeah, business SHE wanted to steal instead! LOL!) He is now working with me, and an absolute Godsend.
She was very worried that I would take on another employee to perform the same services as her, but I had no intention of doing so, and I reassured her of that. We had numerous conversations about other people who scammed the employers who trained them, and how they opened up competing busineses, and wasn't that a terrible thing to do to the person who got you started...
However, all the while, she was plotting to steal clients from me and funnel them to her new place.
When I caught her "red handed" with the evidence that she was setting up her own place, she acted like all was fine, she would be able to work with clients at BOTH places, and why wasn't I OK with that? Never mind that doing this was a blatant violation of our contract.
Wonders never cease...
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Jan/12/2009, 10:54 am
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