Adeline667
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Registered: 01-2009
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First loving relationship after therapy
Hi all
I have been NC with my family for nearly 2 years now. I have turned out pretty well after nearly 5 years of therapy. With an N mother and family members it is still ongoing work..in a lot of ways I have felt rebirthed and that I am learning how to live in the world again.
I have met a lovely man and he is loving, affectionate and supportive. A real blessing in my life.
The last 7mths have however been very hard going in terms of my absolute grief over meeting such a great person. Basically due to my background I found that as I was starved for love for so long that I find it hard to believe that I don't necessarily have to protect myself from this one. It has been great to open my eyes to the way a loving relationship can be without manipulation and control and I am lucky that my partner is quite open in the way he sees things. I also know through therapy when I am having flashbacks, grieving periods, that love and affection is OK and that people can having a loving relationship. Mind you that has taken a long time to understand in my head. Experiencing it is a lot different!
The feedback however I would like from the forum are the difficulties, after dealing with having a parent/s who was a N, you may have faced in your first 'loving 'relationship'?
I would also like if you shared your thoughts on how you may of approached with your partner about your past (if you shared it) and explained the reason for NC etc?
This is new ground for me and I would appreciate your thoughts etc .
Adeline
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Aug/20/2009, 4:24 am
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Jeaniecolorado
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Registered: 04-2009
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Re: First loving relationship after therapy
I feel as if I'm not worthy of love or a loving relationship. I wonder what this other person would ever see in me. I feel like such a dented can, so broken and dysfunctional that I wonder why anyone could possibly love me. I'm slowly moving away from that, but it's difficult. It takes a lot of conscious effort to get this through my head. Knowing my self-worth, my self-love, and knowing that I'm good enough and worthy of all the good God and the world has to give.
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Sep/23/2009, 12:00 pm
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