topaz123
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They really aren't as clever as they think they are
Up until christmas last year, I had no contact from N/P daughter. She sent texts to her father and to her sister and whining creeping e mails to my mother.but left me well alone.
The emails she sent my mother were more or less in the same vein...moaning and smearing me and only me.( from things she thinks happened over 10 years ago)
Then she sent my mother an e mail saying how she wanted to put the past behind her( almost sounded real) and was truly sorry for her behaviour and wanted reconcilliation.
I ignored her.after all, you can't make sense out of nonsense so why bother trying?
My mother is wise to her, her father is wise to her and so is her sister.none of us want anything to do with her..so they all ignored her.
Last week I got an abusive email from her....I ignored her.( or rather didn't rise to her bait)
This morning the rest of my family got abusive e mails from her but she sent me a lovely e mail saying how she wanted to come home and be a family again(????).and she blames everything that happened on her sister, her father and my mother.
Don't these hypocritical people ever see what they are doing?.don't they think people talk? Don't they understand the quickest way to spot a P is to look at how abusive they are to anybody?..or does nothing ever relate to them at all?
I replied to her.very briefly.( I eventually took her bait..sighs!) Told her I don't want contact..I know that is breaking NC but I can't be bothered with the barage of e mails and texts and pretty cards to arrive over the next few weeks which is what has happened in the past with her.and we all know these people are creatures of habit.
I am not even curious to know what crisis has occurred that she needs to contact me.
My poor P daughter thinks that if I wasn't actually present when she was smearing and being rude and abusive, then nobody can really prove she actually was.....and they are all the same!her word against anybody else's...I did keep all her correspondence though as an insurance policy but I haven't re- read any of them...
Leopards don't change their spots. still, its very sad.
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Feb/19/2009, 7:57 am
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mariemarie
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Re: They really aren't as clever as they think they are
Topaz,
It is sad, and I'm sorry for your pain. You are doing the right thing, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. She's relentless, isn't she?
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Feb/19/2009, 8:35 am
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topaz123
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Re: They really aren't as clever as they think they are
Hi marie..relentless is such a good description. I rejected her.again, so now its face the wrath time and its so wearying. I ignore her completely, she goes wild.
If I am honest though, its been a good couple of years while she has been ignoring me.and it was nice while it lasted..maybe its just my turn cos she ran out of other victims.
Maybe I should try and different tactic...don't know anything better than NC though and she is already aware that I do this with her.
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Feb/19/2009, 8:38 am
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mariemarie
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Re: They really aren't as clever as they think they are
For the record, I think you're doing what's best for you, and for her as well.
I'm a firm believer that not allowing others to abuse us is actually a benevolent action toward them.
Thinking positive thoughts for you, Topaz.
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Feb/19/2009, 11:30 am
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maria12
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Re: They really aren't as clever as they think they are
Why do they turn against their mothers?
My ND has said she wants to be a mum like I was to her so it's not something bad that she thinks happened in her childhood.
When we do meet up she is alert to everything about me, if hair is a bit out of place, lipstick smudged a little,and comments on it. I might be too senstive to it now but it contributes to eroding my confidence.
She can get others in the family to do her dirty deeds, to even rage for her. Has anyone else noticed that?
My son was raging recently after talking on the phone with his sister. I was the target, and I still do not know what I might have done wrong. I tried to ask son, but he was incoherent, he did not know himself why he was so angry. These rages I find soul destroying and i must find a way to make them believe they are way over my boundaries doing this.
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Apr/4/2009, 6:07 pm
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midnight dasher
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Re: They really aren't as clever as they think they are
Topaz: I'm not sure responding to her e mail was such a bad thing. You are simly clarifying your boundaries and making your choice of NC clear to her. You've simply removed yourself from the game.
Hugs you!
---
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life"
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Apr/9/2009, 10:30 am
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evelynmryan
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Re: They really aren't as clever as they think they are
Block her emails and have all other family members do the same..and pray for her and continued to educate yourself and surround yourself with loving, kind, and generous people..then pay it forward to help others.
Read Evil Genes and realize that you are not responsible for your daughter's actions....she is.
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Apr/19/2009, 5:40 pm
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Maiafree
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Re: They really aren't as clever as they think they are
Hi!
Ive only recently discovered this very helpful website, and its like a ray of light in a very dark place! My daughter, Deborah, {45 in July,} is NP ,Im sure. she is on facebook, and included me, imagine ME her Mother! as a top facebook friend. She changes her facebook profile picture constantly, and always apears beautiful and make up flawless, etc. This lovely vision of her is at odds with the other jeykyll /Hyde aspect of her which only I seem to be "privileged' to see.
A few dys ago, I noticed shed included 2 of her worst former punk , drug taking, boozing,girl friends on her Facebook page. Worse, these so -called friends posted a whole heap of pictures taken around 27 years ago of them {and Deb} getting wasted, drinking, smoking, sitting on the steps of the squat they lived in then, rent free. One of Deb, 18, half a boob hanging out, can of beer in one hand, fag in the other. I wrote to her separately from facebook, saying{What are you thinking getting these morons back in your life? They will only drag you down!' She rang me up, screaming at me that they were NOT in her life, and it wouldnt be "NICE ' to get rid of them. I said," Debbie, sometimes Nice doesnt cut it, they will drag you down. What about your yuppy frinds and work contacts? What will they think if they see these no-hopers on your site?"
I tried to log on to Facebook 2 days ago. Guess what? She has removed, me, Mum, th whistle blower, from facebook, and presumably, kept the former punks!
I give up! Its probably for the best anyhow!
Maia free.
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May/26/2009, 9:43 pm
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