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Beyond Me
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 "N Son" Newbie Here
First time poster please bear with me
Long long story shorter. Ex Hubby died in 03 44 yrs old from cancer after three mths being diagnosed.
Current twins are now 13 b/g. The boy is my problem . He knows how to manipulate me. He Shoves me around, steals money, fraud through paypal, my bank. Deleted my accounts or took over them. Finally after mths . Started in October. He has been seeing psycologist since dad's death. Everyone thinks he's boy genious which he is. But has this totally other side that is evil. This is all very hard on me. Shorter story after mths of threats from him that he was going to go to foster home. He was trying to plan this for long time. Big physical fight in Jan I called the police to have him removed from the home to a crisis shelter our city has.
He stays the night there talks to the people and says he's not coming back . Goes over to his very rich friends house. They take him in proper authorities are told. Child and family services get involved. I tell her what's going on he's manipltive , fraud, buying computer products on line, saying he didn't get them or that they sere damaged get's replacement product and then will go to store and return product or sell to someone on line. WHen I am not a home.threats.etc... he's removed from the home,I sign voluntary papers, till they can find him foster family.
House is enjoyable , not afraid to come home, not afraid that something will be thrown at me, money not being extorted from me, etc, etc His twin and older brother say there is no tension in house now that "S"is gone. Everyone seems happier...
The teachers and everyone say he's a gifted child so smart can be anything in the world that he wants to be. He is idled by teachers, psycologist, uncle, my son is fully aware of this.
BAM THE WORLD CAVES IN
My daughter his twin, suddenly dosn't come home for a week, I no she's going to school, she phones me everyday to tell me where she is at. She says"I want to clear my head". (the school tells her if she wants out of home not to come home make things go quicker)Finally its friday and I go down to the school to pick up "D" before I go to work at three. I arrive to the school the Child and family worker, principal, vice- principal, and daughter are all in office. I am MAD, when I see this. I go in room, daughter bolts from room. Within minutes CFS worker is telling me that she's taking Daughter , that I need to sign voluntary form like son. I am in disbelief, she's telling me that D dosn't want to be in home, brother has informed everyone, that this is true. He gets her to cry and they believe every word. D is going along with this.I am distraught and embarressed to go to work , I'm crying, and don't want to tell anyone what's happening. I can't believe it myself. I work a long eight our shift at Chicken Delight.
Both kids are then placed in foster home together. That was about two weeks ago. With in a week D is phoning home...wants to come home was tricked by S to come with him, to say lies about me to authorities...she says he manuiplated her. She wants out. There is nothing I can do.
CFS is trying to send my to shrink, says I have mariyuanna problem, says I'm not there for the kids...etc, etc bunch of BS sorry for the language.
Anyways shorten it up some more. I am not able to pay the rent , for where we are....which means I will have to move with older son who's 19. Then won't have housing suitable for the kids when and if I get them back. Sighned agreement for one year on both twins.
I suffer from depression,child sexual abuse, no self esteem,another long long story, anyways I have been seeing a Dr for 13 years I am on anti depressants, they are making it seem that my depression is actually a hidden drug problem....ugh
If i were to kill myself i would be labeled drug addict not suicidal from 35 years of depression. Don't worry not going to kill myself just trying to get you guys to see the picture.
Darling S wants me to lose rental home, my van, my 5 appliances to go to apt.
I am so alone.
My eldest daughter is in another province I talk to her everyday, she's giving me support. It is just so hard.
I lived all my life with "N" Brother who did alot of mental damage dome.
Sorry for the rambling , not sure how I came across this site . But I am glad for the moment to release. I'm sorry if story is hard to understand and I'm all over the map, but thatnks for listening
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Mar/2/2009, 4:04 pm
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spaceflower
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
I am so sorry to hear this situation with your children, and your son's horrible behavior. One positive, you see the situation clearly, and know exactly what he's doing. A step in the right direction. I am praying for the cycle of sickness to be healed and/or dealt with in your family, and that through counseling a light will open up.
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Mar/4/2009, 1:56 pm
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femfree
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
Hi. I agree. The only way around this nightmare is to have a thoroughly trained child psychologist involved who understands manipulative children and who is trained with children with N and P traits.
Do protect yourself financially and emotionally. I've seen way too many parents wiped out by these crafty children.
Hugs- it's a terrible situation.
---
Children? They don't want presents, they just want to see your face light up when they come in the room.
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Mar/4/2009, 2:02 pm
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Beyond Me
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
Thanks for hearing me out and letting me vent
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Mar/5/2009, 11:34 am
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midnight dasher
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
Beyond Me: I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. So did they for=ster your twins to the same home? Did the rich family keep them? I don't know alot about CCS but there are many parent advocate sites to fight CXCS on line. I presume you have visitation rights with your daughter. Do you get to talk daily? Can you write letters? If she really wants to come home, can'tr she write letters to the famjily court explaining her twin brother's influence? I only know in divorce cases, 16 year olds get to choose who they live with. If your daughter really wants to return, can you get legal assistance to work up a plan to gihht this. I know money is a big issue, but they do have free legal assistance for low income folks. Please keep us posted. This has got to be so hard, even trying to carry on to work everyday when life is so dark right now. I would make this the fight of my life. Take your power back. Maybe contact some women support groups and local feminists to gain knowledge of your power. Sorry, I wish I knew more about the power of CCS and if they really can take and keep your daughter for a whole year.
Please stay close. You will find other members here that know more than me.
Love and Hugs
PS Let your son go. Easier said then done. Right now, you need to focus all your energy on yourself. Work with your therapist. Maybe your therapist could write a letter on your behalf. Document everything preparing for court. Include, in detail, your son's abuses and how you've tried to keep the family together following your husband's death. There are so many resources out there. Find them!
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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life"
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Mar/17/2009, 7:52 am
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Beyond Me
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
Thanks for reaching out
I have beena stupor for days
Found out yesterday that I have been given two week notice onmy jub.
SInce last post I havebeen seen to the shrink for two visists after that she said that I have post tramuitc stress disorder. I don't need to be here, dosn't know why JCFS sent me to her.
SPoke a little bit too my daught through computer mostly. This time it has been my choice. I feel such a mess don't know what to say to her.
WEnt to welfare with social worker , basically they kept talking about my mom inherence moeny, long story about "N" brother. Get prrof , reciets, papers, etc...
Just crap , don't know how to express myself here. Basically been sleeping a whole lot, depression sleep, tommorow i get to go to work and get my seperation papers while i'm there.
somehow i forgot about appointment with welfare and jcfs on tuesday , havn't been able to talk to social worker....
just dazed and confused. Upset ,sad.
I don't think of my "NS"b/c it is too painful.
I can't relax in the house b/c i'm not sure if i have the rent for next mth...
I did get myself glasses, I can finally see and read....its been to long
I can't and won't be fighting the gov't on my children i have no fight left , after divorce and mom's death.
ugh
right now i''m in survival mode, not talking to others, eating very little , smoking a whole lot, working when i have too, staring blankly at tv, likewise about computer.
I feel lost.
Do my feelings count? do I need to be heard? does someone need to hug me? does someone need to say my name? I think not, for I have been told I am not good enough, my whole life. Why should now be any different?
Last edited by Beyond Me, Mar/19/2009, 12:57 pm
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Mar/18/2009, 8:36 pm
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judywilling1
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here -- You are not alone
Many of us have been through similar stressful situations, at least I have.
You need a good psychiatrist and the right meds. as a start, and need to take care of YOU!
Please don't give up on this life, with it's many down times and suffering. It will get better.
My N son has no use for me either, but my sweet daughter makes up for him. You have (I think) another son and daughter too, which is a blessing.
Unfortunately, some with the brightest minds, witty and convincing kids can be the biggest N's.
Others don't understand. But I do. I will say a prayer for you. Contact me if you ever want to because my N son is now over 30 and I am dealing with it finally.
We can't control everything, so look for support wherever you can get it.
Lots of love and best wishes,
Judy
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Mar/20/2009, 7:43 pm
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Beyond Me
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
i am not sure where to start.
I am desperate
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Mar/25/2009, 9:53 pm
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femfree
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
I hope you are feeling a little better today.
((((Beyond Me))))
some hugs just for you!!!
femfree
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Children? They don't want presents, they just want to see your face light up when they come in the room.
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Mar/26/2009, 2:23 pm
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Beyond Me
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Re: "N Son" Newbie Here
I'm being screwed over by my kids cfs worker She says I''m not going long with the program. that my kids don't want to see me. that she is not going to help with rent.
The program part is I told her that I don't have to see the shrink, she did not ask why, or anything , just made a noise on disgust on phone.
My kids don't want to see me. Well my daughter wants to see me, and said what worker said is untrue. Twins birthday on april 5th they will be 14. i am not ready to have anything to do with son.
Rent problem, won't go back to welfare with me, b/c i missed one app., said i spent all my money on pot, NOT TRUE...How did I pay rent for last two mths.
The worker she's driving me insane.
Then daughter said one of the workers from CFS pulled her out of classroom and said an adult said that she was molested by uncle.
Totally crazy, my brother "N"has no contact with my kids.
I have three more days of my job
I feel that worker is trying to see me to fail, shé making it that way.
UGH!!
oh yeah and we're under flood alert.Screw the basement, my body is not capable of dealing with the crap down there.
and some other crap with eldest son(20) has ADD, OCD , not looking for a job, or going to welfare, or school. He's been three hrs away in another town with his g/f for over two weeks. He's making no plans on helping with rent or whatever...
Told him not to bother coming home...the way things are going I'm not going to have a home real fast.
Thanks for the hugs and well wishes, but really I feel dead inside, well not really gut a huge gut ache. Can't enjoy food, sleeping, talking , focusing.
One positive note I thank my Dr. for having me on the meds that I am. They have been a life saver so far.
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Mar/27/2009, 1:10 am
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