topaz123
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Registered: 11-2008
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Serves Me Right!
Had a bad week last week, its not nice being proved right when its your own flesh and blood and its dangerous thinking too cos you get to wondering if you had it wrong all along and now they matured a bit so its time to move forwards and put the past behind you..like they got hurt so maybe they will learn?
Not a chance! When they are stinging, they are more deadly.they hurt, they want to take anything and everything down with them...and, after P daughter poured her heart out to me, she was straight on the phone to a relative and came out with such a load of lies that my head was spinning.again!..and of course, who was to blame for her sad state of affairs?..ME!Now she is saying all over again how cinderella was treated better than she was.truth of it is, she had a privileged lifestyle...and her BF treats her like dirt yet she goes back for more and more.(??)
Conclusion here...when P is raw and hurting and sore, she actually loves it! That serves more purpose for her than being calm and almost rational.
Have to take my hat off to her sicko BF.he is so much better at this game than she is.but she is such a quick learner and such a bright person anyway.think maybe he needs to watch out too.
I don't think you can ever totally detach from your child.,...If you can, I don't seem to have managed it ...not yet anyway...what I have learned to do is mask it and show no reaction.what a terrible way to have to feel about your own daughter.
So, this morning is a whole new day. I don't feel used, rather looking at this sorry situation as reinforcement that I can't fix it and her behaviour just shows there is no hope for her, she will never have a happy life, never understand what it is to love...I used to feel sad about that for her, now its just another fact.
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May/11/2009, 1:25 am
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Belrose
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 Re: Serves Me Right!
My head is sill spinning from being so very angry this morning. I give up. I'm going NC it doesn't matter to me that I have to give him basic material needs in my home for 2yrs 3mo. My husband asked me to go in my room because the way I was talking to him wasn't helping. At that moment I could have eaten my husband for breakfast, but it's true. I sapose I was making a fool of myself, but my feelings were really hurt because it felt like I was being critiqued while he was speaking so calmly with our son. Although I love a clean organized home from now on I'm leaving my son's trail for my husband to see and when my son cleans out the fridge and pantry I won't stress anymore about how much I spend on food , I'll give my husband a list of what our son eats, drinks and wastes.
My husband,in the middle of this post called me to ask if I'm ok and we had a nice talk, That helped. Still,I chose to steer clear of our son. I'm going to have a wonderful summer with my three little kids 
Boy did I ever need this vent I think I can actually have breakfast now.Thanks guys, Belrose
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May/19/2009, 8:16 am
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Maiafree
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Re: Serves Me Right!
I feel for you Topaze. When Deb wants something from me,-{usually money}, she is as nice as pie to me on the phone, tells me she loves, me, etc., and it is such balm for my wounded soul,{so badly and so often wounded by her,} that up to now, Ive been sucked in again and again. Its just so lovely to hear her being half-way nice and normal, even though I really know in my gut thats its all a ploy to extract money or goods from me.Also, I feel that Im helping my 3 grandkids by sending Woolies food cards, as deb HAS to spend them on food, and I know the kids will eat well. I have also sent heaters, fans, bedspreads, doonas,all to try to make Debs flat,{which Ive never once been invited to ] more homely. I know I have to stop this, I know Im being used, but its so nice to hear her speaking nicely to me, and saying "Thanks Mum! Im going to have to say no, Ive written to her saying"The Mum Bank is now closed,"but I hope, if and when Im put to the test,I can say,"NO!" and mean it.She never, ever, calls me unless she wants something.Now, I am vey hurt that she has cut me out of her Facebook.Maiafree
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May/28/2009, 11:59 pm
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