topaz123
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Ps and Anger
The terrible feelings we have when we feel angry, betrayed upset etc, that feeling of sickness that penetrates deep into your gut....we all know how it feels...I think Ps actually search for this feeling, seems to be like a magnet or a drug to them, they gravitate towards abuse and maybe thats why when everything is going calmly they start their antics.
They thrive on rage.we do our best to avoid it and they adctively seek it out.doesn't matter who is raging with anger, us or them.....it draws them. Laughter does it for us, rage does it for them.
So hard to stay calm when you are surrounded by madness. So hard not to give any reaction...yet another lightbulb moment for me..show no reaction...but inside its a terrible feeling.
Best revenge is to live well.oh how true this is.
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May/11/2009, 1:32 am
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mariemarie
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Re: Ps and Anger
I'm so sorry that she is inflicting so much pain, Topaz. I hope that the rest of your family is providing you lots of support. Hang tough, OK?
(((hugs)))
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May/11/2009, 9:30 am
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Maiafree
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Re: Ps and Anger
Topaze, this is so true. That awful pain in the gut, the sick feeling of being used, betrayed and dumped on again and again. Do you ever get used to it? I can still remember how sick I felt, when I went to tuck in my sleeping teenager, {Deborah}, only to find shed placed pillows and Doonahs in a convincing sleeping person shape, and escaped out of the window, late at night!And coming home from teaching Art all day, with my lovely High school girls, to find a note on Debs pillow, on her bed in her own litle flat,"Have left home, sorry. Love, Deb".
The hurt, worry, guilt, fear,its all overwhelming. One day, she was actually ironing a shirt at the opposite end of her room, and I asked her as nicely as I could, aware, and scared of her rages, if shed mind asking her boyfriend to come to the front door, and meet me. Instead of him honking his horn, and her running up the drive, and into the night with him.She then picked up the heavy steam iron, and threw it at my head. It missed, and hit the door jamb, and left a dent in the soft wood, deep enough for me to place my thumb in. She later totally refuted this, said I was a liar, so did her sister,{who wasnt there.} Years later,{about 6-8 years,by which time I was happily married to david},I plucked up courage to go back to that unhappy house, and asked the new tenant if she could show me round, for old times sake, as I put it. I went downstairs with her, and my blood ran cold. There was the deep dent in the door jamb, still there, level with my temple. Id seen enough, I thanked the new tenant, and went home.
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May/27/2009, 6:39 am
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