topaz123
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Registered: 11-2008
Posts: 620
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To Maiafree
Hi.hugs and welcome to you. Our stories are very similar but my daughter is younger than yours is.
My daughters weird behaviour started around 14, we were considered a good family back then, school, friends, relatives etc, everyone bent over backwards to help this daughter find her way back in life...but, I have learned, she is who she is and what she is.
I read your posts,as long as you feed a need for your daughter, she will use you....you give her money cos she is stuck.......tell her to get a job and live within her means. She is an adult now..not your financial responsibility any more. Every time she is mean to you, then comes asking for money etc and you give, she despises you for being weak.
The hardest thing in the world is to say No to your flesh and blood and worry about them being cold or hungry or needing...Read everything you can about this sickness they have, protect yourself and learn to set strict boundaries.hugs.
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May/27/2009, 1:40 am
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Maiafree
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Registered: 05-2009
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Re: To Maiafree
Thank you so much, Topaze! I really appeciate you, thank you for replying to my emails. I only recently discovered the website re narcissism and Psychotic behaviour patterns in adult kids,this has been going on for years and years. At times, you doubt your OWN sanity, especially as both my daughters have told me over and over that IM the crazy, selfish, weird, psychotic one.My poor long suffering second husband has seen it all. he cant stand either of my daughters,as he sees how upset they make me. Up to now,{and I hope I am going to be strong enough to change this,} what un-nerves me every time is her tears, even though I know at times they are fake, and that shes using me, yet again.I know I cant continue to give her money, its not just the money, its the terrible feeling of being used like a sucker, over and over again. If she would even ONCE apologise for the terrible things shes done, and said "Sorry Mum", even once, but I think its a vain hope. I never used to be able to buy the ide that ou could love your kids and yet dislike them, now I know its true, as I cant stand her, but I love her as my flesh and blood.Having people like yourself to help me will make all the difference, people who have walked the walk. You cant really talk about these issues with other people who have not ben through it, and even David gets pretty sick of hearing about her.Thanks again, Topaze, God bless,be strong! Maiafree
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May/27/2009, 1:58 am
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topaz123
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Registered: 11-2008
Posts: 620
Karma: 11 (+12/-1)
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Re: To Maiafree
Hi. I know exactly how you feel.like so many more of the members on this site. Understand only too well the....."is it my fault stuff.."
I raised my daughter the best way I knew how..but with these people, our best is never good enough.
Everytime I hear about a new load of smearing against me, I feel so low yet it doesn't end. Our kids get stuck in a time warp, they positively feed off playing the victim....pity is like food to them....normal people usually have too much pride to allow others to feel sorry for them..kids like ours have no pride or self respect.
and, like with all good liars, there is always an element of truth somewhere in the midst of all the mire, thats why people believe them so easily...one lie leads to another, its a wonder their own heads don't spin in trying to keep up with it all.
As for saying "Sorry"..doesn't enter their world, they are never wrong, always the victim, never their fault.....no hope for any of them.
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May/27/2009, 3:08 am
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