BeenDown
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It never ends
2 1/2 years post-divorce & it seems the garbage never ends with the X. We have 3 children together so that is the only reason there ever has to be contact. Last year after he started paying child support sporadically & sometimes not at all. I signed up for collection through the county. He went apesh*t. Things settled down a bit after that but now he owes again. This time its medical support. We are to split the medical bills 50/50 so I pay them then request reimbursement for 1/2. He hasn't paid his 1/2 since last year. Again I have to go through the county which is a pain in the you know what filling out forms, copying receipts, EOBs from my insurance company. Still, I plan to do it & he will go nuts again. Last year when he had his fit I felt if he had been in the same room as me, I would have been dead. I was scared for a long time afterward & felt so guilty but nothing happened & I eventually shook it off. I'm walking into the lion's den & I'm scared all over again. Its not fair. Our settlement was signed by both of us in December 2006. In March 2007 the judge prounounced everything fair & square in the settlement & approved the divorce. Custody, child support, medical support all agreed on, signed, & sealed. But 2 1/2 years later he thinks he can argue & bully his way out of anything. All the while crying to our kids, his family, my family and anyone who'll listen how broke his is because of me, because in his words I have it out for him. I'm so tired of dealing with this sicko. I want to be rid of him but I can't because of the kids. The financial stuff is probably his version of control. I could live without it but the kids would be affected. And even if I let the financial stuff go I still wouldn't be able to shed him from my life. Because of the kids. I'm rambling. I just feel beat down today & oh so tired when I need to be strong & stick to my guns. I don't care about the X one little bit, I know I am in the right, and yet I feel so much guilt over all of this. I was hoping that all his conditioning in the 20-some years we were together could be erased in 2 1/2 years. Guess it'll take a little longer.
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Jul/8/2009, 3:31 pm
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Hadenuf
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Re: It never ends
I hear you, I am coming up on one year divorced and some days the BS never seems to end.
XN calls EVERY DAY(our son is 15) and it is always the same BS. A 15 min interrogation of everything going on at my house (is your mother there? what is she doing? what did you eat today? where did go?)complete with comments. Really appropriate convo for a 15 year old.
God forbid if I am out on an errand or getting my hair done when he calls (always calls at night) my cell would start ringing off the hook (he finally stopped that when I told him I was keeping all his VM's). He would leave crazy VM's accusing me of child neglect (oh yeah leaving a 15 year old alone for an hour or two is neglect).
He still gets drunk and tries to call at 10 pm. I no longer take any calls from him and stick to email.
Our son is supposed to be with him sat pm through tuesday pm. The xn never comes to get him until sun am and drops him back off tuesday am.
He tells our son the most outrageous lies about me, that I left him for another man, divorced him for no reason etc.
Pretty dumb because our son is with me 5 days a week, he knows everything going on in my life and knows his father drinks everyday!
They are all batsh*t crazy.
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Jul/8/2009, 8:28 pm
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sweettink28
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Re: It never ends
The longer I'm here, the more I realize that I'm not alone. My ex claims that I'm starving the children to death everytime they come with me. He also accused me of child endangerment for taking them with me to pick up my car from the mechanic, and then coming home to help me pack their stuff before I moved.
They really are all crazy, aren't they?
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Aug/20/2009, 2:43 am
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mgrofchaos
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Re: It never ends
Big Hugs to you!!!
I can totally relate- married 22 yrs -3 kids here, relocated 7 times all over for exH's demanding career.
He then has first of his two LONG affairs- he is still with his second OW and we have been divorced a year now.
I am getting some strength from this quote today-
"The strongest oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground." Author unknown
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Aug/20/2009, 5:59 am
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justmenmydogsnow
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Re: It never ends
Mgr,
I love that quote! I'm going to remember that-- Thank you!
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Aug/23/2009, 9:13 pm
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healingup
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Re: It never ends
thank you for posting this, I am sorry for everyone's situation....I have the same thing...we've been divorced a year and he is trying to find ways to take away my child support...I homeschool our kids and I live off the alimony and csupport...he said to my oldest that if the kids lived with him then he would get the child support money and they can have a big house. ARGH! They don't want to oay the consequences....even though it is MANDATED in court..hello! He is getting all crazy trying to think of ways to ge my money...which is just enough to live on. He gets more than half of what he makes, almost 2 times what he gives to me...yet he still wants to punish me. He wants me to move to the same town he is in to try to gain control as well...not happening! ARGH
Thank you for posting, it does help to know that we are not alone in dealing with these freaks. Why do they think they can overturn court decisions????!!!!
thanks!
J
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Oct/6/2009, 12:29 pm
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