bellvireo
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Special Master meeting
I'm having a special master meeting on Wed., this coming week.
Anyone have any experience with this? I've been going through divorce for 2 and a half years now. Stbxnh filed, but has been dragging his feet throughout the whole entire process: delaying, canceling, withholding discovery doc's (he's a general contractor and doesn't have himself on payrole), diversionary tactics, refusing to pay, all of it.
Any advice or info would be so appreciated.
bellvireo.
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Oct/18/2009, 2:42 pm
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justmenmydogsnow
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Re: Special Master meeting
Bell,
Just wanting to wish you luck with your meeting tomorrow. I don't have any experience with a Special Master, but I've heard about it. Have you done a custody evaluation already? If you have, the Special Master will find that very helpful.
From what I've heard (again, no direct experience with this), your experience with the Special Master is really dependent on the person. Hopefully, you will be appointed someone with a great deal of insight into Ns. I would suggest to bring any documentation you have regarding the N and his behavior (where it involves the children) with you to share with the SM. Remember to frame EVERYTHING in the "what's best for the children" framework. The SM doesn't want to hear about what a jerk he is, just how you want to do everything possible to make the situation the "best for the children", what will benefit the children the most.
Best of luck to you!
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Oct/20/2009, 6:36 pm
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bellvireo
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Re: Special Master meeting
Hi justmenmydogs,
I love your name.  I've got two big tail-waggers and they are my best buds.
Thanks for your kind wishes and thoughts. Luckily, I don't have any minor children with stbxnh. The big problem is his hiding finances.
Yesterday I felt bits of my old programming ooze back in, but today I am stronger! One more thing out of the way!
Thanks again for your support.
Hugs, b
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Oct/22/2009, 3:25 pm
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justmenmydogsnow
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Re: Special Master meeting
Hi, Bell.
Aren't doggies just the best?!?
Yes, you ARE very lucky not to have minor children with your STBXNH. Glad you're feeling stronger today. Everything that we have to go through in this process makes us so much stronger--stronger than we ever thought we could be.
Sounds like you and I have very similar circumstances. I'm also into this 2-1/2 years now. The marital status was bifurcated so I am divorced, but nothing else is settled. Like yours, my ex has been trying to hide finances all along. He stole all of our savings and hid them. The judge said that if he does not settle this time and we go to trial, that she will grant me 100% of the money he stole as a penalty for him stealing it, and stick him with an automatic 100% of my legal fees.
But it's been a nightmare. Add to all of this that he's got his sister involved, so that he bought a house through her name, gave her our savings to hide, started a business and runs the business monies through her business. I will never know how much he has and how much he's stolen.
If your SM helped you at all with uncovering anything, please let me know if you have any helpful hints!
I'm glad we are able to support each other here.
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Oct/22/2009, 7:05 pm
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bellvireo
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Re: Special Master meeting
Hi justmenmydogsnow,
Sounds like you have kind of the same nightmare I do. Don't they just love to weave their little deceitful messes.
I found out that a Special Master can be called in when there are illegalities and complicated discoveries found in a case. Your lawyer can ask for one to be brought in to act as a mediator. Mine had to have a court order for it, since stbxnh wouldn't agree to have his finances looked at by the dude. The SM is totally neutral. But in my case, the guy is also an expert witness on how stbxnh may have fudged his financial discoveries.
He costs about a third of what a forensic accountant would. He doesn't do as thorough a job, but he has the power to render a decision if we both agree on what he finds.
He said he should have a recommendation for us to look at by December. He has to meet with stbxnh, and then will meet with both of us and our lawyers for an entire day to try and come to an end of this nightmare.
It is great to have your help and understanding. Keep me posted on your end.
Hugs to you! (and doggies too!) b.
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Oct/24/2009, 10:27 am
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justmenmydogsnow
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Re: Special Master meeting
Bell,
This is very interesting to me. I'm not really understanding how this works, though. You said, "he has the power to render a decision if we both agree on what he finds." In my case, my ex would NEVER agree to anything that he would find. How in the world would you ever get your N to AGREE on the findings of a person trying to uncover his illegal activities?
You said he doesn't do as thorough of a job as a forensic accountant. I asked to hire a forensic accountant and our judge and my lawyer both said it would be a waste of money, because the accountant can't be a detective; the accountant can only go off of whatever documents the N CHOOSES to give the accountant, which in my case would be fraudulent documents. So, I'm still wondering how your SM will help you at all? Maybe it's just my ex that is so entirely without scruples and moral fiber, that he will lie about anything and everything.
I do hope the SM can help you. I wish someone could help me--
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Oct/24/2009, 11:25 pm
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bellvireo
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Re: Special Master meeting
Hi j,
The SM guy that my lawyer hired pretty much wrote the book, and did write a book, on how people can hide their money. He actually teaches courses in it. I was told, like you, that it would be really expensive to hire a forensic accountant, and would be a waste of money, especially since I couldn't afford it. This guy is costing me about $1,500.00 (I got a court order for nh to pay half), compared to the 10K+ that a forensic would.
He is an expert witness. He is also a lawyer and an accountant. He doesn't do a line by line accounting, but looks for inconsistencies and red flags, and then gives his opinion of what he thinks nh has done.
He will write up a recommendation document whether stbxnh agrees with it or not. And if nh does not agree, then essentially, he will give it to the judge for trial as "evidence".
But he does have the power, if nh agrees to his recommendation, to act as a mediator/judge and render a decision without it going to trial.
I hoping that nh will see that it will behove him to agree, and not send us both into trial. Big hope, I know. But I'm chosing to remain positive about the outcome.
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Oct/25/2009, 3:26 pm
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justmenmydogsnow
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Re: Special Master meeting
You're so lucky! Any chance I could hire him?
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Oct/26/2009, 6:44 pm
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bellvireo
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Re: Special Master meeting
You can't hire him, but depending on where you live, your attorney might be able to have him appointed to your case.
I would ask your lawyer whether or not there are mitigating circumstances in your divorce that would allow your lawyer to request a special master. If so, then your lawyer should be able to present it to the judge and have it court ordered, so that your nh has to pay his share of the fees.
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Oct/26/2009, 9:34 pm
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