Justbec
Warrior
Global user (premium)
Registered: 06-2006
Location: Paradise Lost
Posts: 9071
|
 | 
|
|
Cowboy Rules
The Cowboy rules -
for Arizona, Texas, Colorado, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho, Nevada and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2.Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road'. I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle .. That's why they smell like cattle. The smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10, I-40, I-70 and I-80 go east and west, I-17, I-15, I-25 and I-35 go north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept...
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah .. we eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied for all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no vegetarian special on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup! Oh yeah, we don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat .. IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks. And a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1!
|
|
9/18/2009, 6:46 am
|
|
Catcherlady
LIR
Global user (premium)
Registered: 06-2006
Location: At the ship's wheel
Posts: 9984
|
|
|
|
|
Re: Cowboy Rules
Oh Lord, I LOVE IT!!!! 
|
|
9/18/2009, 10:07 am
|
|
Justbec
Warrior
Global user (premium)
Registered: 06-2006
Location: Paradise Lost
Posts: 9071
|
|
|
|
|
…
I love the cellphone one 
|
|
9/19/2009, 8:14 am
|
|
Catcherlady
LIR
Global user (premium)
Registered: 06-2006
Location: At the ship's wheel
Posts: 9984
|
|
|
|
|
…
That is a good one, but my personal favorite is #1..."Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot!" Considering what I see coming and going from the school across the street, I could say that on a regular basis! 
|
|
9/19/2009, 12:03 pm
|
|
|
You are not logged in (login)
Board's time is: 11/30/2009, 12:57 pm
|
|
|
