Justbec
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Writing Challenge! Write the Missing Scene
We've all thought about it. You watch the show and say DANG! Why didn't they do more with that scene? So here's your chance. We'll start at the beginning and go forward. 
First Challenge - Write a missing scene (your choice of what) for:
Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot
After two years, Sam Winchester is suddenly visited by his big brother Dean, who insists he helps look for their father John who disappeared on his latest 'hunt' for poltergeists- he accepts only if back in time for a crucial interview. They trace dads tracks for a 'white woman', the spirit of a wife who killed her own children after finding out her husband committed adultery and now haunts and kills unfaithful men. She even attacks Sam, who is loyal to his girlfriend. Luckily Dean, who needed nothing more then a paper-clip to escape from police arrest -they used fake identities- and carry off dads notes, arrives just in time. Still Sam decides to return, but the welcome changes his life forever...
I hope you'll all join in. No deadline, just post it here when you finish it.
Last edited by Justbec, 10/21/2009, 10:40 am
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10/21/2009, 10:31 am
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Catcherlady
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…
Oh there were definitely some gaps in the pilot...I just have to decide which way I want to go. This should be cool!
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10/21/2009, 10:42 am
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Catcherlady
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Re: Writing Challenge! Write the Missing Scene
Ok, here's my entry. Fleshing out the ending a little bit...adding a few things I wish the writers had included. 
Dean leaned into the Impala, then glanced back at his little brother.
“You did anything to my car and I’ll kill you!” he said and Sam smirked.
Satisfied that plunging through the front of the decrepit house hadn’t hurt his beloved car, he sighed and turned back to Sam, who was brushing dirt off his clothes and staring at the pool of water on the floor where the spirits of the young mother and her two children had been.
“You did the right thing, Sam. She’s at peace now.”
“Peace,” Sam sighed, “yeah.”
“Come on,” Dean gestured, “let’s get out of here. We don’t want to be around when the cops show up.”
Sam nodded and they got in the car and Dean backed carefully out of the building, then turned and headed down the dirt road.
“I checked out those coordinates,” Dean said, “the one’s Dad left. Blackwater Ridge, Colorado. Shouldn’t take us more than 6 or 8 hours if we drive straight through.”
Sam tilted his head. “Dean, I can’t. I told you…”
“Right,” Dean nodded, “the interview. I’ll get you back to school.”
The brothers had grown quiet and eventually Sam fell asleep. Dean considered his sleeping sibling. It had felt good working with him again. He didn’t want to admit how much he’d missed Sam the last couple of years. He’d even gone as far as driving past Stanford whenever he could, just to check and make sure the kid was alright. He didn’t dare let Dad know he’d done it, but he suspected Dad had done the same. Now Dad had disappeared and Sam was dead set on going to law school and making a life for himself. Dean couldn’t blame him, he deserved a normal life, but Sam being out of his sight still scared the crap out of him, it had since they were kids. Sam started to mumble in his sleep and Dean sighed. No, this was what Sam wanted, he wouldn’t stand in his way. He could never say no to him.
Sam shook his head violently and mumbled something indistinguishable. Dean looked over and raised an eyebrow. Must be a hell of a dream. Suddenly, Sam sat bolt upright and gasped.
“Sammy? You ok?” Dean asked, concerned.
“Huh?” Sam shook his head, then swallowed. “Yeah, I’m…I’m fine.”
“You sure?” Dean looked over at him and Sam nodded silently. “You want to talk about it?”
“No…it’s…it was just a dream. It’s nothing.” Nothing, Sam thought to himself, nothing but an image of Jess he’d rather forget. Bloody, burning and pinned to the ceiling, flames surrounding her. It made him sick to his stomach so he pushed the scene away.
They pulled up outside the aging apartment building and Dean switched off the ignition.
“You sure about this?” he asked again and Sam sighed.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he couldn’t miss the disappointment that briefly flashed across his older brother’s face. “Maybe after the interview I can hook back up with you.”
“Yeah,” Dean nodded noncommittally, “Yeah, maybe.”
Sam got out of the car and hesitated, then turned back and leaned against the frame of the open window. “Dad will be fine…he always is.”
“Yeah, I know. Take care, Sam.”
“Call me when you find him?”
Dean nodded. “I will.”
Sam straightened up and gripped his bag, then turned and headed toward the front door of the building. Dean watched him go, then turned over the ignition and pulled the Impala away from the curb. As he drove off, he looked in the rearview mirror and saw Sam lope up the steps and disappear in the door. He was safe inside, Dean had done everything he could do. There was nothing left now but to find Dad. As he edged toward the entrance to the freeway he felt a knot in his stomach. He’d gotten Sam home, he was back in his apartment, so why didn’t things feel right? He shook off the feeling and glanced at his watch to try and gauge how long it would be before he reached Colorado. As he looked at the over sized dial the second hand moved slowly around it…then came to a complete standstill. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Dean gripped the wheel and slammed on the breaks, turning the car around and picking up speed as he headed back to the campus.
Sam stepped into the quiet apartment and sighed. He hadn’t liked leaving Dean behind. As much as he hated the life their father had thrust upon them, it was theirs and he missed the reassuring presence of the only constant he’d ever known…the big brother who watched over him like a hawk and made him feel safe no matter what was happening around them. But that was then…he was making a new life for himself now and the ring he’d bought for Jess, the same one that was tucked safely in the bottom of his duffel right now, was the starting point. As soon as the interview was over, he’d ask her, then they’d start building their life together.
He smiled as he saw the plate of home made cookies with a note in Jess’s curly script leaning on top of them. He took a cookie and bit into it as he stepped into the bedroom. He sighed happily, it was good to be home. To have a home. He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, imagining what his home with Jess would be like. It took a few seconds for the feeling of something wet hitting his forehead to register. He tried to brush it away, then opened his eyes and gasped at the sight in front of him. His mind froze, trying to register that this wasn’t just another dream…he was really seeing her burning up…her blue eyes gaping wide in terror at him, a scream frozen on her lips.
“No…JESS!” he screamed, but he couldn’t move.
Dean tore around the corner of the quiet neighborhood and pulled up at the curb again. Was that flames he saw in the first floor windows? Did Sam have a fireplace? He hadn’t noticed one when he was inside. He jerked open the door and ran across the lawn, rushing up the stairs and pulling the door open. As he approached the apartment door he heard an anguished cry come from inside. A voice in fear and shock…his brother’s voice.
“No…JESS!”
Dean kicked at the door twice and it finally gave. He could feel the heat of the fire before he even entered the apartment and it tore at his gut. All at once he was four years old again, rushing toward the nursery door, toward the place where his baby brother lay sleeping. Toward Sam.
“SAM!” Dean shouted as he ran through the apartment. “SAMMY?”
“NO!” the voice came again. “JESS! JESS!”
Dean reached the bedroom door and flinched as a wave of heat rushed at his face. He looked inside and saw Sam sitting on the bed, staring improbably at a spot on the ceiling. What the hell was he doing? Why wasn’t he moving? What was he looking at? Dean rushed inside and grabbed at his brother’s shirt.
“Sam, come on!”
“NO!” Sam continued to stare up, trying desperately to break away from his brother’s grip.
Dean glanced up and gasped as he saw the girl pinned to the ceiling, blood dripping from her gut, eyes wide, blonde hair circling her head like a halo. The same girl he’d just met for the first time a few days ago. His brother’s girlfriend, Jessica. He fought off a wave of nausea as he pulled Sam harder.
“It’s too late, Sammy, she’s gone…it’s too late!” he shouted over the sound of the flames and the sirens which were growing louder outside the window. “Come on….come on!”
He dragged Sam out into the night air and past the shocked stares of a crowd of people in their pajamas who had gathered on the lawn. He eased his brother back toward the black silhouette of the Impala. Sam choked and gasped, then turned and tried to head back to the building, which was now fully engulfed in flames. A fire engine pulled up and the firemen had started working. Dean held his brother back.
“No, Sam, you can’t…it’s too late…I’m sorry, it’s too late.”
He pulled him back again and Sam turned away from the sight of the burning building, toward the darkened curb behind him, bent over and started to wretch. Dean watched helplessly and gently rubbed his brother’s back. As the wretching subsided, Dean glanced back at the building and had the same sickening feeling he’d felt 22 years ago. The sound of coughing shook him from his thoughts and he turned to see Sam standing next to him, staring blankly at what had once been his home.
As Dean saw the pain in his little brother’s eyes he made a silent vow. Whatever this was that was tormenting them, tearing up their lives, he would find it and stop it. If it was the last thing he did, he would make damn sure that they were ok. I’ve got you, Sammy, he thought, and this time I’m not letting go.
Last edited by Catcherlady, 10/24/2009, 12:19 pm
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10/21/2009, 5:43 pm
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Justbec
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BRAVO SUE! That was wonderful. Dang woman you are fast. I just started thinking about this. Excellent job.
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10/21/2009, 6:12 pm
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Justbec
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Re: Writing Challenge! Write the Missing Scene
Ok, here's mine. Not up to Sue's but I picked a different scene. When they found their father's hotel room.
“You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're gonna have to face up to who you really are.”
“ And who's that?”
“One of us. “
” No, I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life. “
“ Well, you have a responsibility. “
“: To dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures, I wouldn't even know what mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, mom's gone. And she isn't coming back. “
“ Don't talk about her like that.”
Sam shook his head as he remembered the conversation. A few minutes ago he had tried to apologize to Dean but all he got was a “no chick flick moments” comment. He looked around the room and sighed. Dean had gone to shower and change, leaving him to deal with the memories. Sam looked at the hotel wall, cluttered with notes and pictures and slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t wanted this life but he would have stayed and done it, if his father had just given him some sign that he really wanted him too. Dad had told him to leave and never come back so that is what he had done. Sam just never quite measured up in his father’s eyes. He was always one step behind Dean, who was Dad’s pride and joy. Dean. He didn’t realize how much he had missed his big brother until he found him breaking into his apartment. No that wasn’t really true. Sam had missed Dean every damn day since he had left. Since he had left….. Closing his eyes he remembered Dean’s face when he told him he was leaving to go to college at Stanford. Dean had never looked at him like that before, like a traitor. And to Dean and Dad, he was just that, a traitor. The Winchester that couldn’t cut it and ran away.
Lost in memories Sam didn’t even hear Dean walk in. Dean stopped and looked at his little brother. The kid had gone from a gangly teenager to a tall, lean and muscular adult. Well adult might be stretching it a bit, to Dean he was always going to be Sammy, his little brother and his responsibility. He walked over and cuffed him in the back of the head “Yo Sammy, you awake?”
“Ow!” Sam rubbed his head “Yes and it’s SAM.”
“Ok SAM, what were you doing? Day dreaming?”
“No, I was just remembering.”
“Remembering? Remembering what?”
Sam rubbed his face and shrugged “What difference does it make?”
Dean sat down next to him, not looking at him “Cause I’d like to know ok? “
Sam looked at is brother, shaggy hair hiding the pain in his eyes “Why did you come get me Dean?”
“Why? You know why, to help me find Dad. He’s our father Sam, and if he’s in trouble it’s our job to find him.”
“That’s it? No other reason?”
Dean wanted to grab his little brother and shake the ever living crap out of him. Of course there was another reason, he had missed his geeky little brother, a lot. He wanted Sam back, next to him hunting and being his pain in the ass little brother again. But the Winchesters had a code, no chick flick moments. Standing up Dean grabbed his leather jacket “What other reason would there be Sammy? Come on, we’ve got work to do.”
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10/22/2009, 8:06 am
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Catcherlady
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NICE job, bec!! Funny thing is, when you first put this thread up yesterday I had three spots I thought about where a scene could be added and you hit one of the other ones I didn't do! Great minds.
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10/22/2009, 10:48 am
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Justbec
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No one else? Come on, don't be shy.
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10/28/2009, 7:19 am
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