Moonfoot
The Gates Sharpshooter
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Ponderisms
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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1/16/2008, 8:30 pm
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The PhoenixRising
The Honorable Black Knight
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Re: Ponderisms
No research involved but here are my uneducated guesses.
quote:
Can you cry under water?
Yes, but you wouldn't notice it.
quote:
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If they are on the 6 o clock news it's an assination.. on at 10 or just in the obituary they were murdered..
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Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Inflation, lol.
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
But first.. which came first.. the chicken or the egg? A circle has no begining or ending.
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
A 12inch pizza looks bigger in a 12inch square box.
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
Oohh I see what you did there. Does the closing have an opening?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Conspiracy theories, and moldy cupcakes.. one large step for a man without feet.
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Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Denial.. Despair.. Dirty underwear
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes.. you wouldn't want to call it a fingering would you?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Movie screens are flat.. and until recently TV's weren't.
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Consumerism
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
I think it's because it feels a lot more weird having someone watch you undress.
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Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Poop is a dirty anagram
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Some things like Toaster struedals have to go through two normal toaster cycles to be cooked being they are frozen. The option that burns the toast makes it only one cycle
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Jimmy Wanted it to be known.. Is there such thing as reason without rhyme?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
Yes. But. Well. I. Got. Nothing.
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
One of the unexplained mysteries of television.. and the gullibility of those watching
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
heh heh you said erect
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Coyote's specially cartoon ones are hunters.. and immune of many anvils to the head and cliff fallings.
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Baby corn and baby veggies
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
yes
quote:
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
yes
quote:
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didn't lol
quote:
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
The Chicken came before the egg.. so if you had asteroids coming out your ass it would hurt.
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
The wind didn't have chilidogs smothered in onions and garlic powder for lunch
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1/17/2008, 1:05 pm
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Board's time is: 12/5/2008, 2:56 am
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Those are some damn fine ponderings, and as for the Professor, that would of made for a damn short tv series is why 
Yeah
