Grannyx16
The Empyrean Scholar
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Joined: 12-2004
Hiding: Tennessee, US of A
Posts: 1349
Karma: 42 (+42/-0)
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4-Jokes
There are four jokes here (sent to me in an E-mail) The first is a Dumb Blonde, the second is about Little Red Riding Hood, third is about a Traveler and then the last is someone's idea of the explaination of LIFE.
~~~~~~~~~
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going
through his usual dumb blonde jokes, when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on
her chair.
She starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a
person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you
who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and
from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind
continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general
.... and all in the name of humor!'
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
'You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little **** head sitting
on your knee!'
~~~~~~~~~~
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road
when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
'My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.'
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again
and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
'My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.'
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees
the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
'My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.'
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, 'Will you
knock it off,
I'm trying to poop!'
Brighten someone's day :-)
~~~~~~~~~
Wish I could think so quickly. . . .
A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, 'Are all of those kids yours?'
He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.
~~~~~~~~~~
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at
anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I
will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I'll give you back
the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and
said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them
laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life
span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I
give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all
day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and
give milk to support the farmer's family. For
this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you
want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty
and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For
this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you
possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave
back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat,
sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next
forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey
tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for
the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable
information. I'm doing it as a public service.
Last tinkered by Grannyx16, 8/12/2008, 9:46 pm
--- My Blog: Cross Country Trek By Horseback
Reading: 15 pges a day of the Bible & Book of Mormon
Writing: Cantor Mysteries-Eyes of the Killer(book ! of 4) |
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8/12/2008, 8:40 pm
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