Registered: 08-2006 Location: Standing in the wreckage Posts: 1885 Karma: 10 (+10/-0)
uncomfortable.... and maybre something a bit more positive yet confusing to me at the end....
So the last several mothes ther have been a lot of European Au Pairs/Nannys around the coffe shop open mic. Barasta Dave (and often the other guys) is quite smittem with them and them with him - in general. Some times they's come to things at his house/after parties..etc..It usually makes me uncomfortable. Partly because they are so much youner in combination with they then tend to drink a lot and oddly musically I don't like what they like as they seem to like a lot of main streem pop/hip hop/dance follow very main stream popular fashion in modes of dress - that I can't of just don't care about...so nothing to talk about. And I ll admit to maybe some kind of miss placed jeliouy (most of them are slim attractive and of cousrse have the exotic forign thing going on)
Last night it bothered me A LOT...there were 7 of them and it was obviously all the guys Espically Dave were practically falling all over them. I don't really excpect the guys NOT to notice or be attracted to them...not did I expect then to be attraced to me in that way- I obviously can't hold a candle to these girs on those matters. But it just made me feel so weird and awkward. The only other woman there was Jessies new GF who was nice (and she's only 19 and more fashionable me but we seemed to get on ok- think we were more musicaly and artisticly in tune). and the guys did still talk to me some and I mostly hung out in the studio room the agecent lounge area where all the girls were is very small so totally over crowed with them on the few seats and all they guys going in and out to drool and see what they were doing.
I guess last night the situation was just more obvious to me me. Other times I think there was always a few people I was closer freinds with there (Steve, Lydia, Ethan..ect.)
Any thoughts on dealing with this? I can't only go over if they are not and there won't always be a polite way to tell/ask not do I want to feel I only can if a closer freind is there. Another time I wish I was more up to par musically on guitar or piano as I could just have jamed (actuallly wished I'd know in advance as I'd have brough my flute or djmbe whci I can hold my own on a bit)..
I have a few moer thoughts but my typing is so slowe I have to go now
--- ...."Somewhere between I love you and I wish you were dead
No lets not be friends!" - Clashing Plaid
Registered: 12-2005 Location: Cambridgeshire, UK Posts: 17224 Karma: 127 (+128/-1)
… Hmm that is a tricky one. I find it very hard nt to be jealous of attractive slim women. So I know where you are coming from. Maybe next time take your flute or djmbe so you can jam if there is a jam? Maybe it just hit you harder that night because there was more of them there? Why do you think you are jealous of them? Im glad you got on with that other girl. Maybe you should try and talk to the au pairs? Get to know them a bit? I hope you are ok. xxxxxxxxxx
… I cant say much more than scatty, but it is a horrible situation to be in. I agree, i think you should try talking to them, you never know what might happen, you could end up liking them after all!
thinking of you x
Registered: 08-2006 Location: Standing in the wreckage Posts: 1885 Karma: 10 (+10/-0)
Re: uncomfortable.... well these gathering are rarely planned in advance- it's more like how Dave and Eli are feeling after open mic (or a show/event) and who is around to can come over. And due to that I've only once had my guitar-I don't being an insturemt unless I'm intending to play it- it's too cumbersome to bring one when you are not and dray it around- and it's bad to leave them in the car espically if the weather is very hot or cold (and we are starting to get some very cold already. None of the Au Pairs ever play and insturments- some of them think they can sing (a couple have been good- but not my stlye)...but Dave lets them mess around and waste 20 minutes in the studo even when Boog and Jessie were really wanting to record and had been invited to. The "serious" music or even serious messing around musically never seems to really get going till they left . A littel before cause they were in the lounge and some of the musicians took some time away from oggling them to play-just no recording going on then. Part of whey they are hard to talk to is because they are often drunk and I find drunk people I don't know very hard to talk to. They also often talk amongst themselves in their own langues so hard to join a conversation or even discover what other intrests they have. Also since they come and go and are always changing-none are often around long enough to get to know then with all the other circumstances. Because I'm not opposed to getting to know them. And like I said they all seemed more to focus their attention on Dave...I don't even think they tried to talk to Jessis GF as she also seemed lonely. Next time I know all tehm are going I'll maybe say I'm going home to get an insturment and come back (though then afraid once I get home I won't come back- and they have lots of guitars there and I've puttered around with some but just not anywhere up to the kind of freestyle jams they do...can't even do a blues progression yet.)
I think I'm party jelious of all the attention they get just for being cute young forign girls...and not even that I want romantic attention form the guys there (and a coupkle had absent gf's) ,,,though maybe Boog who I've discoveirng is really cool but only 19 so...but at least he was paying a little less attention to the girls and he and Jessie di a lot of jammin. Boog is a very serious about his music for his age.
But yeah - just attention as a friend and not feeling like it was all focused on the other cause for most of the might I felt like it woulnd' have made a difference if I was ther or not (and probably would have left if some weren't playing and if I wasn't wainting for what I knew would be the good stuff cause I wanted to hear it and be ther for it.)
ok- thaks for letting me ramble on about this.
I'll put another thought later and the other ting I think I'll put on another thread in this section as it happened that night but not really this topic.
--- ...."Somewhere between I love you and I wish you were dead
No lets not be friends!" - Clashing Plaid
...."Somewhere between I love you and I wish you were dead
