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Trollkien wrote:

After mulling over some of these developments I think it's time India unleashes its secret weapon; its doomsday device of cricket. It will mean a violation of a few outmoded and sexist norms, but if that's what it takes to guarantee an Indian victory; so be it.

Our story begins in 1989, where the Indian team, much like the devas of yore, were much oppressed. Replacing the seemingly invincible asuras in many (some unkind people would say even physical) attributes was the evil mojo of Vivian Richards. Their prayers for clemency and mercy rent the heavens, till the Gods themselves wept and could remain unmoved no longer. They sent out a slatternly nobody Neena Gupta to disrupt Vivian Richards highly destructive penance likened to the worst excesses of Siva and Viswamitra. Gupta was supposed to be a test missile; everyone was sure she would be devoured whole by the voracious Viv. But instead their seduction and consumation has become the stuff of legend involving a greater repertoire of strokes than Richard's had seemed capable of from his brute untutored bashing on the field. Gupta would later recount her experiences in the not-so-oblique song Kal Saiyan Ne Aisi Bowling Kari which makes the mind shudder and the stomach churn at imaginings of their noisome coupling.
Anyway, what interests me more is the offspring of this union — a name that practically screams badass mutha****a - Masaba.

Reasons I believe we need Masaba in the team:

1. A hybrid offspring of two of the world's most cricket-obsessed nations

2. A creature who gender notwithstanding learnt the secrets of Cricket while still in the womb (some say its lessons began even before that in its father's scrotal sac, but that's just crazy talk) as Richards soothed his oversexed companion with lengthy descriptions of cover drives, straight drives and other arcane jargon of cricket to win himself a few hours of well deserved rest.

Masaba will also polarise the West Indian audience and might be a sexy enough icon to attract the attention of da homies in da hood who now seem to believe cricket is the one other thing that white people do with sticks other than lynching them.
 

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Trollkien wrote:

Truly. The death of Bob Woolmer had its moments too.

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