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Slackjawd
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You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
Bear with me dudes, I'm drunk, I hunt and peck, and my computer has a hard time catching up with me on the abode. Nonetheless, here I go.
J-Dub is my grandad, he's the man I posted a link about to the local paper. Not long after that article was printed, I went in to see him, and he was not well. He was passing, and grandma, who is failing as well, was beside herdelf w0 ith worry. I've never been a kneejerk reaxtionary, so I tried bto comfort J-Dub (JW) for a few minutes, and get him to his senses and drive him to the hosptial. JD efused, to the point that I had to call an ambulance, and 3 montghs later, he's in the same nursing home that they put him in from the get go. Problem is, he's such a cantrankerous ****er that they dope the **** out of him to t he point that he dcan't stay awake , he drools constantly, and he ****s hi mself. I visit him weekly, and it hurts more to see him than to miss him, but I stand fast, if for no other reason than to see he dies with dignity, in my eyes as well as his. Problem is, he's lost all dignity, and I fibnd myself wishing for his death, and I have no remorse. I recently watched a movie called " The Savages" that really fit into my situatiobn, and I have come to grips with Amwrica's health care. God, on the other hand (a being JD believeed in , as well as his children) doesn't seem to be coming to grips wit J-Dub. All his kids (my aunts, save my dad) seem to find peace with it, and the old man has found peace with it, but I have a big problem with them teling me it's god's will, and that where it seems to stand.
I'm kind of a ****head, but I've never intentionally hurt anyone, I've trieed to offer nothing but good times. J-Dub is the samwe, yet his children try to tell me it's their od's wi, as if it's gonna appease me. I'll tell you what....I'm gonna be a little pissed at the way their god made my hero go out,, and I ain't gonna forget about it as long as heir spewing their bull****. A slow death ishell, and poehaps he deserved it
, but I won't forgive a fictitious god for taking one of the few men I've admired, in a fashiobn such as this.
\
God truly dies when J. Wilfred dies.
Sorry I'm such a boner-killer.
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8/27/2009, 4:40
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Scuff
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
Slack. My mother was in the same situation and I actually did have to clean her after she lost control of her bowels. Nothing is easy in this life and my nihilistic leanings tend to get stronger as I get older. I do believe in karma and we all pay that price. I cannot abide religious know-it-alls or zealots, but I have to allow them their beliefs. Let 'em go, Slack. If you kill your own beliefs, that's okay. I'm killing most of mine, too. Stand tall, and visit him and keep him in your heart. The relationship you and he have is different than the relationship he has with anyone else. Maintain that. Do not let it go. Treat him as you always treated him. As for his karma, his likelihood of "deserving" a slow death, I don't know and neither do you. That's between him and his god. You are a stand up guy, he is a stand up guy. Keep standing up in relation to him, dude. You might even be working out your own karma in doing so.
Semper Fi, as they say. I admire you.
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8/27/2009, 13:00
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RosesonYourGrave
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
I know what you're going through, Slack. My grandmother was that way for over fifteen years. My mother and her sisters (2 of them) was at the nursing home everyday, sometimes twice a day, to make sure she was clean and fed. She didn't know anything or anyone, just laid there, mouth gaped open, drooling and moaning. It was a blessing when God finally took her. Her husband, my grandfather was in the same nursing home. I would go visit him and he would invariably drag me across the hall to see my grandmother. He would practically yell at her, "Hey, look who's here. It's Jerry!". She wouldn't even turn her head. He would go sit with her for hours each day. You know, he was sharp to the end and died almost a year before she did.
What I'm saying is there should be legal euthanasia for folks like that. I know, people say you can't play God, but sometimes I think God needs a little help.
Hang in there, Slack.
---
"Get off your ass and get down here to fix the goddamn biggest disaster in the nation's history."
Mayor Ray Nagin
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8/27/2009, 13:05
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TheTumblingTumbleweed
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
Dude, I'm so sorry for ya. I remember reading that article about your granddad and that ain't no way to go for anyone like him.
I believe in speed in these situations. Sad as it is, he would certainly agree with you, that as the inevitable will inevitably happen, lets just get it over with without all the doping into oblivion. Sad an irresponsible of those hospital ****s that dope him out because he tests their poor nerves. **** 'em, dude.
I don't know what to say about the family, man. Since my aunt died almost 3 years ago, my family has gone to ****. But it was a pretty good pile of **** when she was here too, it's just that the folks stuck together. But since her passing, the fam has kinda gone their separate ways but not without resentment and bad feelings which makes it tough to bring people back together. My parents generation did a pretty good job of laying the groundwork for an eventual family breakup.
About God, dude... The family uses Him as a crutch for their own weaknesses about dealing with death, it seems. If that's what they need, don't begrudge them. But I've never understood people getting so sad and depressed about death. Seeing someone suffer is far worse. Watched my Naana wither away over 8 years with cancer. Went to see her regularly and when she finally went I remember saying, "Jesus. Finally." An ex-girlfriend once called me callous when we were talking about death. But I said, if you believe the tenants of most religions about what awaits a good person who's passed, then why would you even shed a tear but for the memories of the good times with the person and the gratitude for what they gave you and have left you with.
And if there's a specail place in heaven for all the ass-wipers of fallen heroes, then you've just gotten the key, sir. Sorry for all your troubles, dude. Hang in there.
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8/28/2009, 7:35
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Scuff
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
I'm thinking about what you said regarding speed. In the old days a nursing home was the last - and usually worst(much like today)- place families would put a loved one. Much more respect for elders and the extended family did much more to keep our Nanas and Pop-Pops home, even if they were tucked away up in the spare bedroom. Now we feel like we have to tuck 'em away somewhere so somebody else will attend to them, and let's do it quick before we miss dinner. I wonder if all this is a function of the Internet and the speed-obsessed world we live in now, with our ever increasing demands for increasing demands for immediate and instantaneous access and problem solution. Breakup of the nuclear family has much to do with this, I'm sure. Somewhere inside we know this is wrong so we bury it deeper in our psyches but there are some who don't bury it deep enough and still feel the pain and regret and remorse. People like you guys who attended to and visited them and felt so bad about how things were going. Wow. I can tell you that you will never, ever regret anything you do for that man, Slack. I repeat - you are a stand up guy for that. Hope you are feeling a little better.
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8/28/2009, 13:29
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amphibious0rodent
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
I want to see my folks live into their 90s with decent health and all their faculties. Then I want them to get hit by a bus and go out like a light. I'll be sad about it for a bit, but no long downward spiral.
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8/28/2009, 14:52
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Donnelly
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
... looking after my dying grandmother is the best thing I've done in my life. Good work, Slack!
And you sure are right, Weed.
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8/28/2009, 21:07
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leads
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
Hang on brother, it's good work you're doing. Work you'll be glad you did one day.
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8/29/2009, 12:46
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AmeanCaucasian
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Re: You hain't become a man 'til you've wiped your hero's ass...
I wish I could have been around for my grandad when he was failing. As much as I know it was his time to go and he was in pain I would give anything for one more conversation with him.
Hang in there Slack.
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8/29/2009, 21:46
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