TheTumblingTumbleweed
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Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
So I haven't been around here much over the holidays because I've been pretty exhausted. Running around and ****, you know nothing out of the ordinary, really, just tiring with all the travelling and ****. Anyway...
The boss and I travel up to Mass over each and every ****ing holiday. This is well documented. It's also well documented that my relations with her mom is not the greatest. She's well meaning, but she doesn't see too far from what directly concerns her. And if you don't see it like she does, well, lets just say she'll bully most people with an old "woe is me" rap that's mostly effective but does nothing more to than aggravate me as a mosquito would.
So after driving 11 hours the day after Christmas with a crying baby for the last hour, we arrive at her place around 8pm. I'm in need of a drink and all we really want to do is share with her that she's gonna be a grandmom for the 5th time over, and then put the kid to bed. Of course the baby had **** running down her leg and grandmom wanted no part of her so she missed the shirt the boss had on the baby that said, "Mommy and daddy say I'm going to be a big sister..." So after cleaning up the baby and me settling my nerves with a Makers on the rocks we tell her. "Oh great! I knnewwwwwww it..."
Not 10 minutes later we were in an argument. 
Apparently, she's decided that since the family is scattered to the winds, we need to have a destination Christmas. Well, we had a destination Thanksgiving about 3 years ago and while nice to be with the family, the 5 extra hours of travel time blew ass and the boss and I agreed to tell her we had no desire to do it again. So the Christmas thing came as kind of a surprise. She wants to use her time shares to have a place in Arizona.
While I'd love to see Arizona, I really have no desire to pay air fare, food, entertainment and all the other expenses of a trip at a time of the year when bills are already large. Not to mention the travel time and the carting of kids to and fro. And the fact that my parents are dying to do "holiday-ish" things with their only grandchild(ren)... Plus, Christmas vacation for a teacher is time to relax and ****ing catch your breath a little, not amp up the stress by adding confusion and what would surely be a poorly coordinated "event."
So I told her I wasn't interested. That my parents deserve to see their grandchildren over the holidays. That the boss and I had had a deal about staying home for the holidays for the kids... blah, blah, blah. Well, you'd have thought I was the ****ing anti-Chirst. The wimpering and the whole, "The family is all over the place and my mother died last year, and you don't know what it feels like to have your family all over the country..." Jesus... You can imagine where it went from there.
I said probably four sentences to her the remaining 4 days. Even the boss agreed with me to a certain extent, but the way she hammered me with the whole, "woe is me..." bull**** just rubs me the wrong ****ing way. I pointed out to the boss after the incident that I had given the last 5 years of my life and at the expense of spending time with a beloved aunt who died suddenly 2 years ago to allow her family her presence at every holiday. Thanksgivings, Christmases, Easters, birthdays, every ****ing thing by travelling up at every ****ing turn.
Selfish ****. And she never even tired to say anything to me either. Apparently the feeling's mutual.
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1/6/2009, 22:36
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Scuff
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
Who's the selfish ****? Her Mom? I know the details of this tale of woe and I have to say that . . .I agree with Weed here. He's basically a reasonable man . . .a good man, and thorough. But the boss is a good woman, and thorough. Sounds like you're only here to vent, dude, and it's a good place for it. You'll work it out and it'll be fine. Scuff loves you all.
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1/7/2009, 0:45
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old dude
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
...Being from Arizona I feel I can add some depth to these posts:
.......ARIZONA SUCKS....!
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1/7/2009, 1:40
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MR TOE
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
How can anyone possible justify spending every holiday with the same side of the family?
Haven't you heard of sharing the wealth?
50/50? Quid pro Quo? Go **** yourslef we're spending the holidays at my parents?
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1/8/2009, 19:07
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Scuff
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
I have no family to speak of except my wife and step daughter. My wife has no family to speak of except her daughter and me. The step daughter has no family to speak of except her mother and me. Therefore, we spend all of our holidays together as the same side of the family.
Quad erat demonstratum.
Last edited by Scuff, 1/9/2009, 0:58
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1/9/2009, 0:58
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old dude
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
...We have spent a great deal of time pondering the same issues.......
SOLUTION:
I try to spend more time with my Johnson...when I can find it!
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1/9/2009, 1:23
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Scuff
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
Not hard to justify that.
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1/9/2009, 11:21
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TheTumblingTumbleweed
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
I'm a pretty fair guy and don't expect much. What I do expect is that in a conversation that includes me and my enjoyment of my family, that I'm at least able to express my opinion without being interupted and minimized before being able to get to the ****ing point. This was the problem with the mother in law. Once I questioned the "destination Christmas" idea, the ****ing "woe is me" **** started.
I felt like saying, "Hey dip****, everybody has it tough. Get over yourself." Maybe I will sometime--- probably slightly more delicately. Hopefully...
The funny thing about this whole thing is that if you were to review the first thread from the summer about the "Passive Aggressive Family...", the result was that I thanked her for the party she threw and told her I loved her, AS I ALWAYS HAVE EACH TIME I'VE BEEN UP THERE! But for some reason, this time it registered with her and she was apparently touched to tears when she said something to the boss about it. The boss was like, "You're the best." I was like, "Huh, I tell your mother thank you and I love her everytime I see her."
The real problem is her mom is the matriarch of the family and the "chosen" daughter. The one that made it thru tough times, blah, blah, blah. And because of the deference that HER family pays her she sort of expects it from everyone. I don't roll that way. If I agree, I tell you. If I don't agree, I tell you. And I'm not intimidated by crying and sob stories when I don't agree with something. In fact, that's the worst thing to do with me because then you're just a *****...
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1/9/2009, 21:26
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Scuff
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Re: Passive Agressive Family (redux)...
Weed's Crest
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1/10/2009, 21:10
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