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nothingisfrigged
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where does this post ****ing belong
real world, road whores, booze...what the ****?
I got car sick on route 66, thought it'd be some kinda nostalgic feel good, old timey bull**** experience...**** that, how anyone could stand rolling up and down those little uneven hills on strong black coffee blended with 3/4 whiskey, I just don't know. maybe they just had no other choice, but **** it, I thank the lord and lick his sweet sweaty heavenly balls in reverance of the I40.
old dude...the arizona of your childhood is gone...it's all track homes and indian billboards now...except flagstaff which kicks flagass...like tahoe but without the gaudy ****ing hotels and dark alleyways litered with the broken dreams and broken crack vials of scumsuckers...that ****in forest fire did them a world of good... and by the way, I've never seen so many range rovers outside of so cal as I did in flaggstaff and that ski slope looks slick as ****.
NEW MEXICO CAN EAT MY ****...
90% of new mexicos gnp comes from roadwhores, crystal meth, and indian chatchske's...these ****in indians...super powered ghost dancers hopped up on steam and the legend of geronimo come flying outta the hills at 70mph's, chomping on the glass of your back windows with teeth like petrified wood, waving homemade moccasins at you throught the rear view mirror...I suggest you drive at least 90 miles per hour through new mexico like I did.
oh, and the entire city of albuquerque is painted **** brown. and it's not uncommon to see two big trucks pull up side by side mid highway and witnessing a road whore jump from one cab to the next.
I dig texas, I really dig texas country, outlaw bar blues, every song is about **** you I'm drunk, coked up and from texas...I fell in love 4 times in texas, I'm a sucker for pretty girls with that accent telling me I'm a liberal pussy and explaining how the american jews like woody allen make the israeli's look bad, they love the israelis's down there, a genuine israeli could get laid up n down left and right in texas real easy...they even taught me to two step.
**** new mexico and **** route 66.
oh and yeah, I was traveling with my brother, his girl and my own ladyfriend to a weeding in lubbock...we stop at a truckstop in new mexico, my brother goes to wash the windows with the truck stop windshield wiper and starts gagging at the smell of the ****in thing, without a pause I suggest it's because that's what the roadwhores use to wash up with...the image of roadwhores washing up with the gas station bucket and wiper still ****ing cracks me and started the road whore game, which lasted for several hours..
if you look a roadwhore in the eye, they will follow you home.
whaddya do if you marry a roadwhore?...shoot yourself in the ****in head
if your daughter becomes a roadwhore, shoot youself in the ****ing head.
some roadwhores never die... they just smell that way...
always spay and neuter your rodawhore.
if you cut a road whores head off she'll just grow two more.
r.a.p.t...roadwhores are people too.
I've forgotten the really good ones...**** it I'm tired man. 20 hour's driving home straight up.
Last edited by nothingisfrigged, 7/5/2007, 11:38
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"I don't know if I'm on foot or horseback"
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7/5/2007, 11:02
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Scuff
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
So, all in all it was a good trip? I love road trips - 16 hours into it, Tom Waits playing, or Jerry Jeff or the Texas Tornados and one just wants to kill someone. It's crazy and gonzo and very strung out and fried.
God bless Texas, New Mexico and Route 66. You wanna see a road whore? Watch Melissa leo in Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. Classic. But actually she's a diner whore.
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7/5/2007, 12:49
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AmeanCaucasian
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
" I thank the lord and lick his sweet sweaty heavenly balls"
LMFAO!!
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7/5/2007, 16:45
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nothingisfrigged
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
scuff, have you ever traveled over long distance with TWO women...sure a jaunt here and there with the weeds is no big ****ing deal, well because I'm sure weeds as chatty kathy as he may be, may actually know that there is a time and place to finally shut the **** up, even with one chick... eventually she will talk her self out but two, well it's like the durecell ****ing bunny, maybe rodent could explain chick fission to you dudes, since he is the expert science man thingy.
diner whores...I didn't encounter but...I did come across an offshoot of the diner whore which is the waffle house whore...they stuff packets of different flavoured syrups into their pockets, by which I mean the box... and stow them away for further use on ready made frozen pancakes and waffles.
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7/9/2007, 8:30
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Scuff
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
I have taken several Maryland to Florida road trips with Weed and/or my wife. Once we went with the wife and daughter. Weed shut down immediately due to the Tom waits music I played and sulked most of the way, as has been documented on the old board. The wife was enjoyable, actually, on the latest trip. I don't know why but she did not yap all the way. On other trips, the women shut down by the time they got to Richmond. I prefer a road trip with either Weed or by myself. Josefina is getting better at it but still . . .she always needs to pee or wants to stop and shop a bit.
All the whores are essentially the same, differing only in their trolling areas. Once I had a diner whore actually blow her breath on the silverware and wipe it off on her apron. There are gas station whores, roadside rest whores, IHOP whores, as you know, and even CrackerBarrel whores, who specialize in fatty breakfasts filled with starch and the attendant "old timey" souvenirs they sell. There are convenience store whores and I've even heard of toll collector whores, although i never met one, being a user of EZPass, available here in the east. Maine has Lobster House whores, and PA is just filled with Church of the Nazarene and Amish whores, all of whom try to sell you outdoor tacky furniture made from pressure treated wood.
I'm debating a road trip now, to San Antonio.
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7/9/2007, 15:55
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AmeanCaucasian
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
I just took a trip up into Glacier Park with the SLF and my mother. Since the SLF is still recovering form giving birth and she dosent know my mother that well I was the one who had to talk with my mom the entire way.
It was a good trip over all and I ran into many ****ing park ranger whores. If I ever find myself single and unemployed I know what I am doing for a summer and that is working at Glacier Park.
Every where we whent there were 18-19 year old hotties all waring name bages that told you where they were from. It was like a god damn smorgish board. Can you imaging the hookup potential in a place where every one is only there for the summer and not looking for long term commitment.
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7/10/2007, 16:44
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old duder
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
Just got back from Alaska....****in beautiful country....full of nice rednecks....200 lb women doing $20 lap dances; the ****in nerve!!!
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7/10/2007, 17:18
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Scuff
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
Smorgish Board? 200 pound Alaskan malamutes doing lap dances for 20 bones? Glacier Park ranger whores? Now Smirnoff bottles pure water with alcohol in it? Rodent gallivants acrosss the nuclear world with no ATM access? AMC's mother and his wife don't talk much and he gets to eye-**** those park ranger whores anyway? OD disappears for months at a time then wanders, like a child, into the middle of our movie? Smorgish Board?
Phone's ringing, Dude.
Jesus.
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7/10/2007, 23:11
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old duder
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
...What the **** is a smorgish?.....Could it be Jewish it its origin?
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7/11/2007, 1:49
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AmeanCaucasian
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Re: where does this post ****ing belong
Smorgish board.......you know like a buffet, as in all different kinds of **** to choose from.
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7/11/2007, 17:10
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