nothingisfrigged
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I've taken in a new cat ...
you know, after the death of special ed, I nevr thought I'd get another one. yeah it's not as earth shattering news as some of your new offspring and **** but... can you teach your ****ing kids to **** in a box and cover it up with sand after one week? no?... I didn't think so. I'm driving through the valley fog one night almost about a month ago and my eyes spot this tiny blob stumbling around in the street at say 50 mph's in a school zone, but way before I expected any children to be crossing said street...anyways, after these many years piling one on top of the other of driving home "loose", my eyes have developled into something other worldly, they are ****ing keen man, you put my drunken driver eyes on the same body as amc's nose for easy gasheesh and rodents hockey pad girth, then we might have ourselves an ultimate ****ing super hero who rescues pussy, ****s pussy, and is a pussy. anyway I see this tiny little ****ing ball of fur and pull over man, this little guy was starving so bad his ****ing hair was falling out as I picked him up, his eyes were glued shut, he was a ****in mess and more in need of some help as any living creature I'd ever come across and when I picked him up he instantly started to purr so ****ing loud you'd have thought a ****ing monster truck had just pulled up next to you, daring you to park in front of it. I took him home, got him some food, gave him a warm place to sleep, the ladyfriend was especially vital in his recovery. I was watching old reruns of the wire ondemand, so I started to call him bubbles just because he was so pathetic and sad on the street and now at about four weeks old, this ****ing cat is strong as a bull, full of raging testosterone, he finds an opportunity to ambush my feet and scratch the **** out of me brutally everyday with no remorse man, he's taken over the block completely and he's still just a kitten although he's grown to the size of a small beagal. I think I'm going to have have to change his name to marlo now, because he's such a scary mother****er, he just runs ****.
---
"I don't know if I'm on foot or horseback"
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1/15/2008, 11:35
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FVTD
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Re: I've taken in a new cat ...
Great story NIF. Glad to hear the cat is well man. Took him to the vet and ****?
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1/15/2008, 11:37
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AmeanCaucasian
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Re: I've taken in a new cat ...
Very nice NIF. I am a little suprised thought that you took the rought of teaching him to **** in a box over the neibors yard.
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1/15/2008, 18:26
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amphibious0rodent
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Re: I've taken in a new cat ...
word to the wise my friend. I got two cats with a combined age of 37 years. These ****ers can last forever. I've had both longer than my two oldest kids. So beware.
Also, **** you about the hockey jab. I may be fat, but I am slow.
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1/15/2008, 23:21
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Scuff
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Re: I've taken in a new cat ...
No good deed goes unpunished, as they say. Nice work. Just don't tell anybody what a sap you are, or you'll end up with a bunch of strays.
Your story left me misty eyed, although that couyld just be the smell of cat urine around the house.
Don't forget the vet.
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1/16/2008, 18:53
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Slackjawd
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Re: I've taken in a new cat ...
That story actaully made me feel kind of emotional. Good to see some humanity in the world. I'm gonna go drink whiskey in the shower until this strange feeling passes.
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1/17/2008, 13:42
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