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pcdreams
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open relationships
as pagans we find ourself liberated of the chains associated with Christianity. This allows for more openness in all aspects of life.
So we are looking for perspective from fellow pagans in these matters.
Obviously for these type of relationships to work one need to have a well established open line of communications.
I suppose the thing that I worry about most is diseases, especially in this day and age.
How does one go about being sure those they wish to mingle with are disease free? It scares the hell out of me to think of sex with strangers, but we all start out as strangers...
We're interested in the ideas behind this. Not sure its anything beyond fascination at this point.
We've been married for 14 years (monogamous). And have a good thing going. Not sure if we want to move beyond that..
Last edited by pcdreams, 8/21/2007, 11:23 am
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8/21/2007, 11:21 am
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Firlefanz
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Re: open relationships
Good question, even though I wouldn't agree that not being Christian means throwing all values out. There is something to be said for a stable and trusting relationship / partnership, after all, no matter which religion witnessed it.
Also, I would think that I prefer to get to know a person before having sex with him or her, to be honest. And part of a relationship that intimate is talking about possible problems, be they diseases or anything else.
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8/21/2007, 12:48 pm
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: open relationships
Just my opinion here, but just because I'm Pagan doesn't mean I don't have a responsibility to my partner, to be faithful, even with his blessing to be otherwise. This is something we've actually discussed.
I am not the kind of person who needs, or wants, another man in my bed. I am totally satisfied with the one I have. Granted, you and your spouse may be needing a little excitement to liven things up a little, but I'm not sure that changing sex partners is a good way to do that.
Go to Spencer's or some like store, buy a sex game, and have a go at each other. You may be surprised.
If that's not the problem, then you may want to work through what is going on before you decide to dump 14 years of marriage into the sex blender.
As for diseases, you can always put up front that you will only have sex with a partner that you KNOW has been tested and passed. Offer to pay for the testing if you have to, to ensure your safety.
Otherwise, I say....keep to what you know is safe, don't chance it, and...if worse comes to worse....go see a sex therapist to help you liven things up.
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~  .~~*~~ |
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8/22/2007, 10:19 pm
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pcdreams
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Re: open relationships
thanks SS  No problems in the Spice area  Like I say, just more curious than anything. But caution is always wise.
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8/26/2007, 12:18 pm
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: open relationships
pcdreams wrote:
But caution is always wise.
Especially in this day and age. Way too many diseases out there to take too many chances.
Hope you don't think I'm a prude LOL
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~ .~~*~~ |
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8/28/2007, 4:31 am
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pcdreams
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Re: open relationships
Saijen SilverWolf wrote:
Hope you don't think I'm a prude LOL
not in the least.
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9/3/2007, 12:38 pm
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: open relationships
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~ .~~*~~ |
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9/3/2007, 5:46 pm
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playfultree
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Re: open relationships
There are groups or clubs for swingers which is were you meet people for one night stands, swapping, orgies and so on. These groups tend to think the richer the sex life the stronger the bonds of a marriage.
Then there are polyamourous (spelling?????) groups which is more for adding another person or couple to your relationship/family. Which is a complicated thing to add a person as an equal to your marriage but they exist and are happy. Kind of like the old hippie communities. This is just like dating and marriage but with 3 to 4 people in the relationship.
These organizations can be found on the web. Most require blood test to prove you are drug and disease free. They also are advocates for safe sex practice.
Both groups actually highly respect marriage and as strange as it seems frown upon divorce.
My hubby and I had the same question a few years back and we had a lot of fun researching the idea. Research is as far as it went.
Just because it was not right for us does not mean it may not be right for others.
Oh almost forgot it is not just a pagan lifestyle there are a large amount of Christian that have these relationships.
Last edited by playfultree, 9/10/2007, 1:31 pm
---
Love and Light
tree
May your journey be full of happiness and blessings
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9/10/2007, 1:28 pm
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snowdancer1952
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Re: open relationships
This site may help answer a few of your questions if you find you're more leaning towards polyamory.
http://www.polyamorysociety.org/
I don't know if there's any 100% safe way to have sex any longer. Even in the single world, couples both young & older may date for a long time but there's no guarantee that one or the other isn't also engaging in sex with others when they're not together.
I was in a monogamous(from my side)marriage for literally 30 yrs and found out 1 week before my 30th wedding anniversary that my husband had been carrying on affairs for 8 yrs with not just one woman but 3! To top it off he didn't even bother practicing safe sex since there was no concern about pregnancy due to a vasectomy.  If I didn't believe in not incurring Karma, I honestly probably would have done him physical harm at that point.
I went and got tested & have been tested every 6 mos just to be sure.
So single or married, there's no guarantees that you will be with someone who is completely honest. Being direct in your questions to any new partners, don't feel bad about asking for test results and to some degree letting your inner voice be heard are a few ways to stay safe and free from disease.
Being married and deciding to open a marriage is something that you really need to discuss but once you do, there's many books and websites to help you navigate what up till now was a forbidden world.
Good Luck,
---
Change your thoughts,,,,
and you can change your world.
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10/21/2007, 4:15 am
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RantingHobbit
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Re: open relationships
a few decades ago when my wife and I were dating I talked her into going with me to donate blood on a regular basis. The blood centers will test you and if you come back being positive for anything they will not let you donate.
It's at least a thought, and my save a life.
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10/28/2007, 8:34 pm
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