KaliMorgan76
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Registered: 05-2009
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 Re: open relationships
I know some pollys pagan and other wise. A friend I have has a main mate and a side friend with benefits I guess you would call it - all three know the score.
I have a father who was poly for a while - now he is solitary - as in no mate. But he is not mateless because of the polly. He has a medical condition and has choosen to just be solitary after his last break up (same issues we mono's have).
I am mono by nature and choice - so is my husband. I was never into multiple partners - if fact my whole I life I have had 2 - yep that is it. But I found it is easier to have many than keep fires going with one - variety is much easier when you literally have more than one but that does not mean you have to be boring. I love spice.
I do think of disease as well as unwanted pregnancy's - I am young enough to get preggers and I while I love my kids, I don't want to have others or explain why there is now 2 daddies for the kids.
I think the most sucessfuly Polly's I know were open and honest with each other - all the partners. Everyone knew the "score" and where they stood. Honesty is definetly the key. However the second thing I noted in all the happy poly relationships was knowing the extra partners. No one night stands, etc. They knew them, discussed having a sexual relationship, got tested and established a "relationship". That is not say that they continued it past one time sexual experience in all cases - but they felt more comfortable about who they slept with knowing the person and big one - Trusting who they slept with.
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“Never think that whatever is around you is beyond your comprehension, no matter how complicated it seems.
To attain total freedom, learn how to undo the web of illusion that has convinced you that you are not free…”
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6/5/2009, 7:01 pm
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TexasMadness
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Location: Austin, Texas
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Re: open relationships
KaliMorgan76 wrote:
However the second thing I noted in all the happy poly relationships was knowing the extra partners. No one night stands, etc.
This is where I think an important distinction can be made. Poly relationships are loving, long term partnerships - simply between more than 2 people. A person in a long term relationship that has flings and one night stands on the side isn't poly - they are swingers or just not monogamous. Poly is a whole 'nother thing.
I couldn't do it. I've heard poly's talk about how they don't understand the monogamy thing. Must just be the same the other way around. I don't consider myself a jealous person. But I don't think I would do well. Hubby says there ain't no way he's sharing me either! 
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6/5/2009, 7:14 pm
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muladzh
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Re: open relationships
Throughout the history of my family's Path, there has never been a polygamous belief. We follow the Goddess, or our understanding of the Goddess - Morbhanu has but one partner, so we have but one partner.
Within our Path, there are over three thousand souls who favor the monogamous choice and all our ancestors for the last twelve hundred years have done so as well.. It is my personal belief that I have a fantastic partner in life - I waited many,many years to meet her, and no way will I share myself, or her with anyone else. Promiscuity is the usual reason for polygamy in western society rather than the guarantee of lineage that primitive tribes take so many wives for.
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7/24/2009, 5:22 am
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Firlefanz
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Re: open relationships
I can now say from personal experience that I cannot live with open relationships. I prefer to be alone rather than wonder what my partner is now doing with another woman.
Easy as that.
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7/24/2009, 6:27 am
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