PerpetuallyCurious
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Ruminations
I've been in "searching" mode for years now.
I found something but kept rejecting it in favor of more "intellectual" ideas/thoughts. Why??...... Who knows. Part of my fault as a human being. Also due in part to the constant interference of "society" however much I hate to admit it.
I'm tired of denying it. I'm tired of looking when I know what I am.
What am I?
I am what I am. I am no longer trying to fit the mold of others. I am no longer trying to seek the "greater understanding" that others feel should be sought after (particulary YOUR understanding).
I am not ashamed of my beliefs. I am tired of hiding certain aspects of myself just to remain a "grey man" and to avoid conflict.
I will no longer make apologies for what I believe (altho those have always been in my own mind).
So.... what am I?
I am a Pagan.
Whatever that means to you, it doesn't really matter to me.
You may call me a country-dweller. You may call me a heathen. You may call me a witch.
I'm comfortable with all of that.
Just don't suppose that you are free to make assumptions based upon what you percieve of my beliefs!!
I do not worship any gods. I certainly don't worship "the devil". Those are your own perceptions, YOU own them. Not I.
I believe in a Supreme Power (energy). I believe in nature. I believe in the transformative power of energy (whether good or bad). I believe that you are in control of your own destiny.
I'm tired of trying to align my destiny with what society believes. I'm tired of trying to "fit in" when I never will.
I am now taking this time for myself. After so many years of neglecting myself and my beliefs for whatever screwed up reason, I'm taking this time for myself. To heal. To center. To learn the ways of which my spirit feels at rest.
After which I intend to once again be what I've been at heart before I lost myself.
A person of kindness. Compassion. Someone always willing to help others. Someone who lives with out fear. Someone who is not afraid of being set apart from others as something "unusual".
I myself do not like the direction where most of American society is heading. I see nothing but further heartache and seperation where they are headed. I do not say that out of judgement, but out of heartache for the pains of those I love.
I am taking the path less traveled. MY path.
And I am happy.
Last edited by PerpetuallyCurious, 8/25/2009, 7:22 am
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8/25/2009, 7:17 am
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PerpetuallyCurious
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Re: Ruminations
The above is certainly not aimed at anyone here!! Just thoughts I've had on my mind due to "life". 
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8/25/2009, 7:18 am
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MagiCat
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Re: Ruminations
It's BEAUTIFUL. You spoke to my heart. I can so relate.
thank you
Cat
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8/25/2009, 2:00 pm
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TexasMadness
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Re: Ruminations
I can relate too!
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8/25/2009, 2:42 pm
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playfultree
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Re: Ruminations
It not only rings true but echos in my heart.
MaY I have your permisson to send this to a few people that it would benefit.
---
Love and Light
tree
May your journey be full of happiness and blessings
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8/26/2009, 1:14 pm
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PerpetuallyCurious
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Re: Ruminations
Thank you, I am honored
Playfultree - If you feel some may benefit from my thoughts, please feel free to share
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8/27/2009, 1:37 am
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playfultree
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Re: Ruminations
Thanks PC
---
Love and Light
tree
May your journey be full of happiness and blessings
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8/28/2009, 4:11 pm
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: Ruminations
Curious....that was outstanding!!! I appreciate you sharing that with us. I can so identify..as others have stated. I think most of us here can, with what your thought process was on that.
I honestly wish I could be more open with some people about this....yet I keep myself closed in, just so I don't have to deal with the conflict it would bring about. Sometimes, for me at least, it's better to keep my mouth shut and go about my path quietly, than to say anything to some people....but it doesn't stop me from wishing at times I could just yell it from THEIR rooftops what I am....where I walk, and how I see things.
Maybe one of these days I can shrug off the cloak of quietness and not be so afraid to just say it.
Thank you for having the courage to be yourself, and let others know!!!
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
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8/28/2009, 9:23 pm
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