sutistoy
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Stirring up ghosts
When we had an assignment in class this week to draw a portrait from a photograph, I was already planning on using some black and whites of my mother, mostly because they are so crisp in values ( even though these are circa 1940's or older).. I really didn't think that the choice would stir up so much. Before a coupleof years ago, I didn't have any photos of my mother, as they all seemed to reside either at my dad's house or my grandparent's house. I hadn't heard from my dad in nearly ten years, but I don't think he has too much of the stuff left from when everything was good. My grandparents have tons of stuff, and had sent me photos when I told them I wanted to start a scrapbook. Can you imagine.. all these photos are in envelopes.... anyhow.. so I found a picture of my mother at probably age 8 or so ( a guess). I tried to apply the grid method as perscribed for the assignment, and I tried to look hard at details, lighting, textures, placement, etc, with the seperate view that all of us tent to take towards a subject. But, I couldn't. I got so caught up in thoughts, and I kept thinking how happy and blithe the picture made her look. I had forgotten what she looked like.... she was away at her parents house and I was with my father when she died rather suddenly. And so, naturally my mind wandered to... how I could use her in my life now, for a lot of reasons, and how bloody unfair it is that she isn't here. I wondered how life like that, in her eyes in the picture, could just be gone. Oddly, though my mind works on the visual mode more than the logical, I can't often picture people in my mind, and I scold myself for losing the details of people important to me.
I suppose I will continue to draw these exercises, but it sure will be hard.
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2/8/2009, 10:39 pm
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DebbrahF
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Re: Stirring up ghosts
Given that this is a pagan artist's board....
Have you tried an ancestral altar? It should appeal to your artistic side and gives you a way to interact with her image and work on this with yourself (and possibly her... I believe so, but some think it is all just a symbolic way to do the self work.) And a portrait you had created would be a great keystone piece for it.
---
For good or ill, luck and opportunity are 90%+ preparation...
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2/9/2009, 12:11 am
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DebbrahF
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Re: Stirring up ghosts
Given that this is a pagan artist's board....
Have you tried an ancestral altar? It should appeal to your artistic side and gives you a way to interact with her image and work on this with yourself (and possibly her... I believe so, but some think it is all just a symbolic way to do the self work.) And a portrait you had created would be a great keystone piece for it.
---
For good or ill, luck and opportunity are 90%+ preparation...
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2/9/2009, 12:15 am
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DebbrahF
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Re: Stirring up ghosts
I realized after I hit post I had more to say...
My father passed about a year and a half ago. I still haven't done a lot of what I feel I should, what ai feel I need to, in regards to his death. But I have found that many traditional responses to death have helped. Ceremonies and rituals usually exist because of real human needs. I've found many that have been of use. Not always a comfort, but what I needed.
If you are still needing a way to address her death (and I suspect there will be things I need my whole life regarding my father's) there are many rites and such designed for that. Ancestral altars are just one.
---
For good or ill, luck and opportunity are 90%+ preparation...
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2/9/2009, 12:21 am
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: Stirring up ghosts
I am sorry for each of your losses! I almost lost my Dad this past October. I just can't imagine life without my Dad around.
Funerals are a closing point for those left behind. Not having a funeral left things wide open......you had no closure, Corbin. That is tough to deal with.
sutistoy, I like the idea of the Altar. If for no other reason, it may help you get some closure, and help you artistically.
Corbin, same goes for you on the closure part.
I hope that each of you finds what you need to get beyond and grasp what it is you're looking for, artistically and in your life
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~  .~~*~~ |
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2/11/2009, 1:33 pm
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