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Marma Yogi

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Cognitive dissonance

October 31, 2022 at 3:36pm

I became friends with a women who was elder to me, i met her after 15 long years. We exchanged numbers and we started to become friendly. She continuously hit me with very sweet gestures and soothing talks.

She exhibited her flirty side and she was so sweet to me but i was very clear not to take that alone as a sign and approach her, though we were close to each other. But i started to have feelings for her after sometime but i didn't want to make a proposal and ruin the friendship we share because i was unsure if she likes has any interest in me and i don't want to labled as simp.

Later she started to slip away saying she is busy. she completely cut me off after i made a comment on her blog (nothing personal) she doesn't like to get married nor wants to get committed. I apologized her big time for the general comment i made about marriage.

Initially she accepted my apology but went cold shoulders later. I tried my best to reach her out and know why she is still upset. I met her in person after she gave me silent treatment for 3 months continuously. I was not blocked by her. I gave a real big gap for three weeks or so before i texted her again to know what she is doing.

I was never that close to any women though i had many female friends. I was feeling bad and guilty that i upset her and wanted to fix the issue but i lost hope since she stopped responding to my texts. So i decided to meet her on person. Boom!

She didn't like me meeting her in person but she gave a very vague reply to me. She texted me back later that evening (open my texts after 2 months) reasoning out why she didn't talk, telling she had personal issues.

I kept away. I didn't bother her and now 2 months passed by i was surfing Youtube “why a women stops responding to texts” because this is the first time someone is ignoring me for making a blog comment.! I earlier had a argument with her when I said my opinion to her blog when she shared it with me. That time I personally sent my feedback this time i made it as public comment.

She said I hate explaining myself to people and i don't like it. Your comment was really unnecessary and you made me explain myself to everyone. My fellow bloggers started to ask “Who the guy is" and i hated it. Honestly she has very less followers and most of them are people from close circle.

The blog was about how a women is tortured in society to get married. So i said my general comment like what happens when a women stays single for long and i said it may be my future girlfriend too is getting harassed like this in the same way!

Well i was not showing any hatred towards women in general nor did I make a creepy comment about her. But it was very evident that she hated me after that. Inbetween all this chaos she replied to my texts stating that i can use her old blogs to make YouTube content and there was no emoji or smiley. I was upset. I tried my best to convince her and promise that i won't repeat this mistake of letting out my opinion on public.

Now after meeting her in person she left the chat in a open ended way saying “if you want you text i shall reply whenever possible but don't wait for my reply" that made me feel like as if am begging for her attention.

I then started to recollect whatever happened and only now i realised she is having a narcissistic personality and is a dismissive avoidant.
She hates romance but flirts like a pro.
She is always mysterious.
She has many guys flirting with her in name of blogging.
She never revealed anything about her.
She wants me to pet her always.
She hates criticism.
She wants to be complimented always.
She said i was anxious when I don't get her texts.
She doesn't like to be questioned if she goes missing for months.
She mirrored all my likes, preference, interests etc.
She always was curious if dated any other women.
She doesn't like to get closer with anyone.
She hates commitment but will seduce with her sweetness.
She didn't stop sending her blog links though that was the reason why we had misunderstanding. In the end she sent a voice note stating

i was just listening to your talks and all your theory of twin flames , quotes you shared are nothing but superstitious crap.

I now don't text anything to her but i feel traumatized by her mixed signals and the way she ended things 😔 right from start there were red flags which i ignored now i regret so much for investing my time with such a person and because of the trauma bond i have i sometime have this cognitive dissonance to talk and not to talk. I spoke to professional therapist and even my close friends who suggested to forget the incident and MOVE ON. I am clueless on what to do. She is all charming and beautiful in the layer but every dark and egoistic inside. 100% she is a dismissive avoidant with narcissistic personality traits. She is in her late 30’s and she is very passive aggressive if anything goes against her. I felt like walking over egg shell whenever I say a joke to her.

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